Bye 07

whew.. last day for 2007... i dont know what exactly to post in here well i just wanna greet everyone happy new year and so on so forth :)) hahahaa....

for me... WHOAH!! what a year!!!bringing back memories of 2007... hahaha.. i had fun, troubled....broken.... erRRrr.. etc...

i almost worked the whole year whew! and got only that 6 days vacation in Philippines last october which turned out not soOo good coz of etc etc etc....

and now... another sleep then it will be 2008 already :)) hahahaa.. and im gonna be 24 by April.. erRr.. hate it! im getting older each year :P lolz....



well.... i wish this coming year.. better for everything ;) GoOd luck 2008!!!!

Me..in Philippines 07

to start this.... the night before my flight going back to Philippines october 10,2007... my PMS came so to tell and let everybody knows that in the first place NOTHING HAPENNED sa akin during my stay there.. some rumours says na meron etc etc etc.. sorry for those who keeps on saying that

NO ONE had the opportunity to get intimiate with me during my stay there ONE is because i had a bf that time... NOT even my bf!!! wHy?! its because i have my monthly period when i came back there... and AYOKO lang talaga...

someone spreading rumours that im gay... sorry to say but i have friends who saw and stay with me during my stay there who can tell the truth about that... * dang! may bakla na palang dinudugo pek*** ngayon

somebody says that i was totally DRUNK as in langong lango daw ako the night ( October 12 ) na nakipagkita ako sa kanila sa isang karaoke bar.. to tell her... uminom ako! YES!! but... isa lang masasabi ko.. KELAN BA AKO NALASING?! ang pagkakaalam kong last time na nalasing ako was 2005 pa.. and kahit nga walang tulugan nung nanjan ako di ako nalasing.. tas.. para lang sa ilang shots malalashing ako?! hahaha.. you're making me laugh NEWBIE!

me nagsabi rin na nsa isang party raw ako last October 13 sa isa sa mga forums ko rin... but hey!!! WALA ako dun kasi busy ako sa EB namin sa iba kong forum.... dont make tsismis GIRL na walang katorya torya

meron din.. from a respected ' I treated him a friend b4' sa mtc... nagsasabi... "Hindi ko type si khaye!!" ~ KEBER KO!!! hahaha... eh nakita nga kita eh kinausap ba kita? nilande ba kita gaya ng gusto mong palabasin sa mga tao?! laugh your ass!! sayang nirespeto pa kita.. pero ngaun nalaman kong ganyan ganyan ka magsalita.. duh!!! you dont have to say anything na gaya ng mga ganyan for the first place.. hindi tayo close! hindi rin tayo nagkausap.. at lalo namang hindi kita type!! period

dun kay "R"... sad to say.. bumaba tingin ko sau.. even my respect i guess.. biruin mo.. wala pala talagang silbi lahat ng pagpunta ko sau and even knowing you and letting be a part of my life.. sorry for my language pero nung malaman ko kagaguhan mo s akin.... erRrR.. i thought ako ang nagkamali.. i thought ang sama sama ko na ewan.. abah!! eh kita mo naman.. sa simulat simula pa pala hindi na dapat pang natuloy ang relationship natin kung matatwag mo mang relationship nangyare sa atin..biruin mo.. THE NIGHT BAGO MO AKO SUNDUIN SA NAIA OCTOBER 10,2007... AMPUGA NASA KANDUNGAN KA PALA NI "M"!! UTOT MO KASI NAGSASALITA NG WALA SA KATINUAN YANG "M" KAPAG NALALASING　NA SA　TAONG KAIBIGANG CLOSE KO PA NAGSABI NG KABABUYAN NIYO!!!!
so ngayon nalaman ko yan... sorry pero... HAHAHAHA <<>




sa dami ng tsismis na nabuo ng matagal dahil sa pananahimik ko... you can come and drop me a message... khaye garcia doesnt have to tell lies knowing the fact that my life's like an open book here... eversince i came here... wala akong dineny wala akong tinago.. so PEOPLE NEED NOT TO JUDGE ME AND PUT ME INTO CONCLUSION NA HINDI TOTOO!!! madali lang akong makausap... im just a message away...



WELCUMM 2008!!!

In My Own Opinion..... KG'07

Why your not good enough for this
or special enough for that?

ever look in a mirror and feel absolutly repulsed at the reflection that
dances if front of your eyes.
taunting?

trying to find some beauty in SOMETHING, and coming up a little short?

sitting here at 12.47 am cuz i cant sleep
feeling a little more than lonely.
more towards the side of emtpyness.

thinking about all the choices in life i've made. and thinking of all
the things i've done and finding that the only things that's made my dad
proud to say that im his daughter was when i played football for the city
one year, and got teased and pretty much mentally tortured by almost all
of the guys on my team, everyday, just to make sure that my dad would
WANT to say that he was really proud of me for, once.

thinking about how im gonna go on pretending like i always do, to maked
sure no one worries about me.

covering up all of my mental flaws by pretending to be happy
(an art of which i have truly masterd)

and finding it harder every day to wake up and look in a mirror, because
im scared of the reflection. of all the flaws that i have

ever wonder why the public decided eating disorders with legs are the
only thing that should bare the covers of our magazines that the next
generation sees everyday of thier lives?

why the second someones over 100 pounds, they're suddenly fat,
and people stray from them like they have a deadly disease?

i wonder
why for one day
i cant be truely happy
and not be scared to look in the mirrori wonder
why im so lonely and what i can do to myself to change that

why i cry myself to sleep more often then not.
why im so fakewhy i pretend happyness.

and i can never find the answers.

Khaye Garcia in Philippines p.2

dationMy sorrow to hidden for anyone to touch,my wounds to deep to mend, my happiness to shattered to pretend.-by me



October 13... me and "R" had again that same argument...its all started with the guy who's sending me Pms eversince and same guy na hindi ko naalalang nakakausap ko na even b4..."G"...i did tol "R" the night that we first had that mini coffee eb na "G" sounds and looks familiar pero hindi ko na inaksayan pa ng panahon para pa isipin kung paano at kung sino ung guy na un sa akin.. for what?! right!!ang mahalaga para sa akin that time is nasabi ko pa rin kay "R" na "G" sounds familiar sa akin... butt he problem is.. ginawang issue ni "R" yon.. he kept in teeling me na alibi ko lang daw na nakalimutan ko un... erRrRr.. i just hate reminiscing that part of our argument... inayo ayo ko siya,i triedmy best to let him know my side and tried to make him believe on me... i should have known that how will he believe me if in the first place.. he doesnt trusts me.. balewala lahat ng sinabi ko, pagaayo ko sa kaniya... almost all the time nandun ako behind him explaining everything but what did he done to me?! yeah right.. deadma niya lang ako... wala siyang pinakinggan sa mga sinasabi ko.. pinagpipilitan niya pa rin na ang alam niya ang totoo and ako ang mali.. yeah right.. maybe tama siya.. my fault! my fault kasi nakikipagusap ako kahit kanino... but hey! i wasnt even flirting with "G" or to anyone kahit pa makipagusap esp alam kong i have already a relationship...i do talk yes.. pero i dont see anything wrong about it...dang!napuno ako sa accusations and sa pagiging malamig ni "R" sa akin.. until ice accepted the fact that i shouldnt be there anymore with him.. for what?! ano yon... spend ko last few days ko sa pinas na magkagalit kami?! na ganon ang tingin niya sa akin?! na ganon na lang basta?! i cant... so ive decided to go... the time na nagbalot na ako and fixed all of my things... he talked to me.. and again.. explain everything to me.. that he wanted me to say sorry and admit na i lied... erRrR... how can i say na i lied eh sa totoo namang nakalimutan kong sabihin sa kaniya sa unat una pa lang ung about "G" sHit! kelangan ko bang memorizin lahat ng nasa inbox ng PM ko sa bawat forums na meron ako sa net?! i talk to people and ive told "R" about that.. but that doesnt mean na memorized ko from the beginneng and end of our conversation sa lahat ng taong makausap ko.. un ang hindi niya maintindihan.. and hindi ko rin magets kung bakit kinailangan pang MERONG bumukas ng inbox ko sa MTC that time para lang sabihin kay "R" na naguusap na kami ni "G" eversince.... ang galing! arghh...so again,bitbit ko ng maleta ko and all my stuffs, he talked to me... etc etc etc.. but hey! im khaye garcia and ako to... nung sinabi ko ngang uuwi ako ng pinas kahit ura urada talagang umuwi ako... im the kind of person na kapag me sinabi that just simply means.. YON na YON! matigas ang ulo ko eversince.. kaya nga nung sinabi kong mahal ko siya without anymore of thinking... hindi ko inaatrasan ang kahit na ano basta nasabi ko na.. pinaninindigan ko lahat kung pupuwede.. kaya nung sinabi kong i have to go and hindi ko kayang nandun nga ako kasama ko nga siya pero hindi niya ako pinaniniwalaan and pinagtitiwalaan, pano pa niya sasabihin sa aking mahal niya ako kung ganon rin?! erRr... in short... i left him..pag bitbit ko ng bagahe ko, diretso sa elevator pababa sa lobby and un na! TAXI! that time wala akong maisip na puntahan... siguro 12nn or 1 pm ata un...isip isip isip... hangang sa terminal ng Victory liner ako napadapad.. dun ako nagstay... bumili pa nga ako ng ticket to Tarlac kung sakaling wala na talaga akong maisip na mapuntahan that time.. so while sitting, i have so many thoughts about him, about what to do next etc etc... i know myself, once na umalis na ako sa isang guy thats it.. u wont see me coming back... so isip ng another plan... hindi naman ako pwedeng umuwi ng Tarlac that time coz meron pa akong mga natitirang appointments sa manila..i end up staying @ the Crowne's Plaza in Ortigas around 6pm ata yun o mas maaga ng onte...pagpasok ko sa room ng hotel talagang bagsak ako sa bed.. whew!"R" keeps on texting calling me that time.. asking kung nsan na ako etc etc.. ive told him that time that i already went home to my family in Tarlac kasi ayokong malaman niyang nandun pa rin ako malapit sa kaniya...ayokong malaman niyang nasa crownes ako, kasi baka... hmm.. maraming akala na ayokong mangyari kaya hindi ko sinabing nasa manila pa rin ako nun... anyways... pinapunta ko sa room ko yong isa kong friend si "S" he accompanied me there, kasama ko rin siyang umattend sa EB namin...i had fun... as in! i enjoyed their company.. small gathering we ate and had some drinks sa isang parag resto around makati ata un.. mga 8 or 9pm na rin ata kami nakarating dun...around 11-12mn ( October 14 ) ung mareng kat ko nasa roOm na raw na raw ng hotel ko kaya nagmadali na kaming umalis from the EB...sa room ng hotel, nandun ung mare ko ung isa naming friend then ako and some friends from the EB na pinuntahan namin... dun namin tinuloy inuman.. kwentuhan etc.. hanggang sa umuwi na rin ung mga friends ko around 3 am...ang natira na lang ung mare ko tsaka ung friend niya... while drinking, tumwag ung iba naming friends from other forum and sabi gusto daw pumunta sa place namin ... sabi ko ayokong malaman ng mga tao lalo na sa mtc na nasa manila pa rin ako so talagaang palihim nila akong pinuntahan sa roOm ko that time... i believe na walang chu-chu sa mga friends ko na nagpunta s aplace ko that time... kasi pare pareho kaming hindi dapat or wala dapat makaalam na nsa manila ako that time esp kasama ko sila.. so talagang.. blood-blood ang promises namin sa isat isa...inuman namin natapos aroun 4-5pm ng hapon ( October 14,Sunday ) i left alone kasi nawala na lahat ng mga kainuman ko,LOL.ung iba kelangan umuwi sa knila of course, ung iba me naghahanap na.. ung iba may work.. ung iba gusto na lang daw nila akong pagpahingahin naman.... so yun.. i called my mom in Tarlac to come over the hotel kasi hindi na ako makakatravel pa papuntang Tarlac sa kaso ko that time.. i needed to take a rest and sleep kasi halos walang tulugan ang ginawa naming inuman that night... nung dumating ang mom ko kasama with my two pamangkins, usap usap etc.. pero hindi rin ako sinamahan pa ng mom ko matulog that tiem sa hotel. umuwi rin siya kasama mga bata kasi may pasok ata ung mga bata the next day... i forgot what time na nun nung dumating isa kong friend para samahan ako sa hotel... erRrR... kahiya hiya pero tinulugan ko talaga with matching HILIK ung friend ko "P" nung dumating.. cguro sa sobrang pagod and siguro dinatnan na rin ako ng tama ng alak na nainom ko nung nakaraang araw.. talagang.. TULOG!!Knock Out!!!! hindi ko na nga namalayang nakatulo na rin pala ung friend ko dun na hindi ko man nakausap nung dumating sa room ko.... erRr... next morning... October 15, last day ko sa Crowne's.. may isa pa akong araw para sa stay ko sa Pinas before akong umuwi sa Japan..kung uuwi pa ako ng Tarlac then travel again the next day for my flight baka malate ako sa flight ko and pagod pa kaya ive decieded to stay pa rin sa lugar mas malapit sa NAIA... ang binagsakan ko... INTERCON Makati... and i wanna thank her again for that :* anyways... nagpahatid ako kay "P" hanggang sa intercon bago siya umalis para sa lakad naman talaga niya... so nung umalis siya,me alone went to a mall ( SM )para naman ipare-sched ang uwi ko sa Japan kasi i moved my sched a day earlier sa real sched ng uwi ko.. so un... from mall nagpasundo ako kay "S" pauwi na sa intercon...hindi rin siya nagtagal sa room ko kasi kinailangan na niyang umuwi... another friend of mine visited me that time.. unfortunately, ilang beer lang nainom namin he left me already kasi nga kelangan ko na talagang magpahinga for my flight's gonna be the next day.. erRrR... SAYANG!!! so un! the next day.. the day of my flight.. dumating ng maaga sa room ko si "S" for saying bon voyage etc hanggang sa pareho na rin naming dalawa iniwan ang intercon.. siya papunta sa ewan and me para sunduin ang kuya ko na maghahatid sa akin until airport NAIA.. and thats it!! my 6 days of stay in Philippines 2007!!! sa dami ng chika about me... i dont know.. no comment!! bahala kayo....

Khaye Garcia in Philippines 2007 p.1

Let go of what will never last...


after so many months that ive chose to keep my mouth shout about what happenned..after all those rumours and intrigues people talked about me...im now breaking my silence!!!




after 3 attempts to go and visit Philippines this year, with so many reasons... i never got the chance to go there not until this month of October ( 10-16,2007 )


i was scheduled to arrive in Manila Oct 10 2pm...and "R" ( my bf that time ) picked me up at NAIA...that's our first meeting in person actually... we've met on net...and i dont have to post my first impressions about him that time now.... anyways..... so then... he picked me up there and we directly went on his condo in Makati for i have things....i was totally excited to come back to Philippines after 17 months of not visiting Pinas....not just of course to meet "R" for all i know i was in love that time...but i have or had so many schedules for those 6days of stay there...so from "R"'s place...we went on a mall i forgot the name of that mall near his place... we bought my fave tequila ( Reposado 1800 ), foods.. oh! i think that was the time that we've bought the barbeque thing!! geeezz... im craving for that again now!LOL...when we came back to his place..ako lang ang uminom ng 1800 then "R" had his wine ( erRr, i forgot again... ) oh!! the place of "R" is definitely WOW!! hahaaha... /// i drank 1/4 ata of 1800 alone coz we dont have enough time to finish it kasi may coffee EB that time ung group namin sa forum that we both are members in..sa coffee eb...hmmmm....ive met several peepz there..honestly speaking...i had fun that time!kwentuhan chismaxan and all the time i had that smile na talagang meaning i wasnt bored...there's this familiar Name of a guy there but that time hindi ko masyadong pinagisipan kung sino or kung paano ko siya nakilala... enough! after that coffee eb... me and "R" went back to his place coz im sheduled to go to Tarlac to my relatives naman of course..on our way back to his condo i tol him that that GUY's sounds familiar to me... that i think i saw his name on my Inbox @ MTC ( hindi ko lang talaga na inisip coz wala naman talaga sa akin un that time... ).most of the times i have problems in sleeping... so paguwi sa crib ni "R" i needed to watch a movie just to get myself to sleep...the next day... i went to see my mom,kuya with his wife and my pamangkin in Pampanga...ive spent half of that day with them plus my relatives who lives in Pampanga but i made it a point that ill be back in Makati by 12mn...so pagbalik ko sa condo niya....wento wento wento until he openned the topic about the guy from that coffee eb thing b4 tht day.. he was accusing me that ive told him lies... erRrr...na kesyo matagal ko na raw kausap usap si G ( name of the guy from coffee eb ) sa totoo lang hindi ko talaga agad natandaan un... sorry to day that pero un ang totoo...but "R" kept on saying na palusot ko lang daw ung pagiging makakalimutin ko... "R" told me na bakit daw para daw kaming hindi magkakilala ni G sa coffee eb...di ko daw kinausap, like we used to do sa mga PMs namin... sabi ko naman sa kaniya na talagang hindi ko inisip or nireminisce that time ung mga PMs ko non... coz i was busy listening to the peepz talkings sa coffee eb...since first time pa lang naming magkita in person ng mga taong nandun... "R" told me that somebody from MTC took a look on my inbox and found out that me and G were talking already b4 that coffee eb... early August ata...hat time ko lang naalala si G ung talagang si G... and i know na wala naman kaming ginagwang masama.. we were just talking... joking... saying hi's and hello's and thats all... pero hindi un pinaniwalaan ni "R" he even told me that i have to act normal ung totoong magkakilala nga daw kami ni G sa karaoke eb namin for my 3rd day of stay there...erRr../// the next day... Oct 12... sa karaoke bar ang lakad namin for EB for the group.... 6PM dinner sa haws ni "R" then 7 meet sa karaoke bar ( i forgot the name ) around 2 or 3 pm that day...hinatid ako ni "R" sa trinoma coz im meeting my friend from my other forum... sa trinoma, nagkita kami ng mareng kat ko.... we went on a resto sa loob ng trinoma.. inom inom kwentuhan :) errr.. ang sarap makipagkwentuhan sa mare ko :) ang sarap ng feeling kahit first time ko pa lang siyang ma meet parang ang tagal na namin talagang magkaibigan..while drinking and eating... me and mareng kat made few texts and calls sa mga friends namin... dumating bigla sa resto first si JJ with his 2 girl friends...sumunod si jeff and lastly si rey...inom inom picture picture kwentuhan... ang saya namin.... then i "R" texted me to say na cancelled na raw ung dinner sa haws niya b4 the karaoke eb... ive asked him why and he told me na cinancel nga raw niya... sabi niya stay daw muna ako sa trinoma... so un.... around 7pm ata ng dumating ung sis SG ko kasabay ko ng pupunta sa crib ni "R" para magayos for that karaoke eb... pagdating sa condo... i knew iba timpla ni "R" pero wala ng time para pa pagdisksyunan pa un.. 3 of us went to the venue.... i met lot of peepz there from same group....kantahan etc... inuman... tuwang tuwa ako kay sis tessa :) and PK :D nakalimutan ko na name pa nung isang guy na mukhang mabait din... sis SG sis honey si tessa pk and the rest ang saya kasama...humabol na lang ng dating si lobo that time pero hindi rin kami nagusap... si G nandun din and he even gave lahat ng babae pati ako ng flowers ( that time kasi nsa labas kaming mga babae nagsmoke eh me nagtitinda ng flowers nagkataong nasa labas si G nun... kaya un ) to make the story short....bitin ung time ng eb na un for me ut umuwi na kami lahat sa mga kaniya kniya naming lugar with a smile ( well para sa akin i was happy and i enjoyed the eb naman kasi ) the next morning.... Oct 13....umaga.. iba timpla ni "R" inaamo amo ko siya pero wala...galit siya deadma niya ako... why?! well.. same issue...about G... that i lied etc etc etc... hanggang sa nauwi sa pagiimpake ko ng mga gamit ko and decided to walk out na...saka lang niya ako pinansin nung paalis na ako all the while pagalit siya but that time he wanted me to say sorry... for i lied ata and totell that its my fault... gosh! eh ayaw niyang maniwala sa mga sinasabi ko ni hindi niya nga pinansin pag aamo ko sa kaniya tas ganon lang...i walked out... wala akong idea or nowhere to go that time... hindi naman ako pwedeng magpunta sa malayo kasi night ng 13 im scheduled to meet my friends in FHM BB.... ive stayed at terminal of Victory Liner sa QC for 4 or 5 hours ata... bitbit ko maleta ko lahat ng gamit ko.....thinking of what to do next.. where to go and pano ko spend ang 3 more days of stay ko sa pinas ng hindi ako magsisisi sa pag uwi ko dun...ung mga friends ko naman may work, ung iba nsa malayong lugar.. ung iba hindi ko na inisip pang bulabugin that time.. until a friend of mine told me a name of a hotel near sa QC that time... Crowne's plaza... dun ako nagpadiretso sa taxi driver... dun ako tumuloy from terminal ng Victory liner...






to be continued...

You Moved On.....NO!!!

You tell yourself you moved on
because you wanted to
but everyday you check your e-mail
just to see if he wrote you...
you tell yourself you moved on
because it wouldnt have last
yet you believe
he'll come back
still
living in the past...
you tell yourself you moved on
because you found someone new
but you miss your ex so much
wonderin if he miss you...
you tell yourself you moved on
because you have changed
yet you wish he still called you
if only things were the same...
you tell yourself you moved on
but he still has your heart
wish you knew the real him
and saw his lies from the start