In My Own Opinion..... KG'07

Why your not good enough for this
or special enough for that?

ever look in a mirror and feel absolutly repulsed at the reflection that
dances if front of your eyes.
taunting?

trying to find some beauty in SOMETHING, and coming up a little short?

sitting here at 12.47 am cuz i cant sleep
feeling a little more than lonely.
more towards the side of emtpyness.

thinking about all the choices in life i've made. and thinking of all
the things i've done and finding that the only things that's made my dad
proud to say that im his daughter was when i played football for the city
one year, and got teased and pretty much mentally tortured by almost all
of the guys on my team, everyday, just to make sure that my dad would
WANT to say that he was really proud of me for, once.

thinking about how im gonna go on pretending like i always do, to maked
sure no one worries about me.

covering up all of my mental flaws by pretending to be happy
(an art of which i have truly masterd)

and finding it harder every day to wake up and look in a mirror, because
im scared of the reflection. of all the flaws that i have

ever wonder why the public decided eating disorders with legs are the
only thing that should bare the covers of our magazines that the next
generation sees everyday of thier lives?

why the second someones over 100 pounds, they're suddenly fat,
and people stray from them like they have a deadly disease?

i wonder
why for one day
i cant be truely happy
and not be scared to look in the mirrori wonder
why im so lonely and what i can do to myself to change that

why i cry myself to sleep more often then not.
why im so fakewhy i pretend happyness.

and i can never find the answers.