Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Life's So Confusing.... (1)

" a kind of life living in a room, full of everything I want and I need, makes me happy but never made me complete and contented... " ~kG~
As far as I remember, I was freshly graduated from highschool when my mom decided to bring me to my Aunt's house ( matigas daw kasi ulo ko, pasaway! ). My Aunt's my father's eldest sister na talaga namang kinatatakutan ng buong familia. She's soOo strict and disciplinarian, worse than my grandmother na nagpalaki talaga sa akin. I remember when I was a kid, my family in my mother's side brings me to my Aunt's house na talaga namang nakakapatindig balahibo at nakakapanginig ng kalamnan sa takot pagkaharap ang Auntie kong yon. But surprisingly, the moment my mother brought me to their house, nawala ang takot ko sa kaniya. I've stayed there for almost a year and i dont know why the feeling's been dissappeared. Nakakabigla kasi... sa lahat ng kamaganak ko s afather side, sa akin lang siya ganon. She's always been sweet, thoughtful, caring... She brings me wherever she goes.... sa church, sa family or social gathering, laging ako ang kasama niya. Lagi nga niya akong sinasama sa mga KIKAY stuffs niya eh like shopping, sa salon/parlor, pati kapag nagpapamanicure pedicure siya pati ako damay lagi. She lets me wear branded clothes, perfumes, bags, shoes and accessories na ni isa sa familia hindi niya tranato ng ganon ( ayon sa mga kamaganak ko ) Mismong mga anak niya nagseselos at naiinggit na sa akin dahil sa treatment my Aun't been giving me. Hanggang sa tinutukso ako ng mga relatives ko na favorite daw kasi ako ng Auntie ko, sa akin lang daw lumalambot ang puso niya. I didn't know what to say or what i must feel everytime sabihan nila ako ng ganon coz for me that's too common since im also the favorite of my lola sa aming magkakapatid.Thou considering that it's my actually first time to mingle with my relatives on my father side since i was born. But despite of the blessings that I've been recieving, I remember myself writting a diary before I sleep every night and it sound funny because almost pare pareho lang naman ang naisusulat ko doon. Lahat nasa sa akin na daw. Sabi ng mga tao, Im so lucky to have a life like what I have... I eat more than 4X a day, I have nice clothes, new shoes and bags, accessories ang gadgets. I live in a big house everybody dreams to have. Ni hindi nga ako sumasakay ng jeep or tricycle kasi nga may sasakyan naman, dalawa pa. I face well-known personas in Tarlac and attends social gatherings/parties with my Auntie almost every week. Kung tutuusin, wala ng maihihiling pa ang isang tulad ko.Ano pa nga ba?
As I stare at my window every night, naiisip ko.. bakit ibang taong kaedad ko, kahit nasa kalye, nagtatawanan, naghaharutan, nagkakapikunan pero nakangiti pa rin? Wala ng ulam sa hapag kainan pero nagagawa pa ring makipag tong its, matalo man o manalo? Simpleng buhay lang pero masaya sila.. bakit ako? I tried to look for answers everyday....
Hindi ako pwedeng makipag kaibigan ke ganito kasi ganyan daw.... Hindi ako pwedeng ligawan ni ganito kasi di daw nila kilala... or shoud I say... "HINDI KILALA"..... hindi ako pedeng magsuot ng ganito kasi ano na lang sasabihin ng mga taong makakakita... hindi ako pedeng pumunta sa ganitong lugar kesyo ganito kesyo ganyan.... I do understand that they just want the best for me. I've felt I've becoming her robot, her puppet, her toy. You should be like this! You do like that! We'll be going here and there! You join the contest! Practice ballroom dancing! etc etc etc.... At first i thought it was fun, as a kid I must obey them for they know what's best for me so I did obeyed her, them. I laughed, I was happy.... but at the end of the day.... in my room..... I'm alone and empty.

Khaye Garcia on NET

hmMm.. marami rami rin akong mga unforgetfull memories online.. and i have this sumthing to share with everyone.. this blog's gonna be posted on most on my accounts online.gaya ng nangyari sa isa sa mga forums early this year, hindi ako nagsalita... this stuff, i kept it all for a year na ren....and now, im already pissed off and dissappointed... share ko lang...

i registered an account on one of the groups in Yahoo called YUMMYPINAYS few years ago as "amazingkhaye28" hindi PA ako gaanong gumagamit ng PC that time, so kapag may oras saka lang ako nagchecheck ng mails.. at first i thought ok naman siya.. di rin naman ako makarelate sa mga pinaguusapan nila for they share ideas concepts random pics and vids scandals etc. I met few people there, chatted and became friends.. naengganyo ako... i posted my pix ( wholesome ones kasi hindi pa uso for me ang mga shots na gaya ng mga ishinashare ng ibang members/group ) a friend of mine, well... hindi pa ako gaanong aware sa consequencesn g visible online so when i knew that a friend of mine posted those pix of mine sa Google... nagalit ako.. wala pang isang araw na posted ang mga pix ko na un, he already deleted it kasi talagang inaway ko siya ( Japz ). after that incident, matagal tagal rinakong bumalik sa yahoo group na yon let's say... hindi na ako nagchecheck ng emails ko using
amazingkhaye28@yahoo.com.. i became busy sa mga iba pang sites kasi nahatak hatak na rin ako ng mga kakilala ko online sa ibang sites....when i came back after few months na nawala ako, i saw my mailbox sa amaxingkhaye28 na super puno!!! dun ko narealized na ganon pala talaga sa yahoo groups... hindi ko rin naman ugali ang isa isahin lahat ng mga messages from that ID so i made another account for yummypinays, suteki_khaye... i came back, lurk around and wala lang.. and ganun pa rin ang nangyari... hindi nga kasi ako ganun ka adik sa net that time.. so months have passed, pagbalik ko ganun na naman... so lastly, i made another account for Yummypinays which is oRdin4Ry_p4ng3t/Loveless Panget.. ung ibang mga members didnt know na ako un at first so balik ako posting my photos ( still wholesome ones ) so un... they've known me na hanggang lurk lurk lang talaga.. but since ive got friends there...mostly thru YM na lang contact namin and minsan minsan pasilip silip pabasa basa lang ng mga messages ng mga members on that said group sa snail mail ko...
Months again had passed, ive been busy doing my stuffs on and offline...Chatrooms,Forums,Sites YM...lots of things happenned, ive learned stuffs about cyberspace,met different kinds of people online.. I was lets say addicted on chatroomsthat time, cguro dahil na rin sa nagsawa na ako sa ganong routine, last part ata ng 2006 some members on Yummypinays told me that they're gonna make a forum aside from that on yahoo groups, theyve invited me since di rin naman daw ako nakikisabay sa mga ibang membres sa yahoo group ( d'uh!!! puno ang mailbox ko coz of that, wala na akong time to do backreading and answer and be part of their conversations and topics ) I think January or February last year ive made my account in YUMMYPINAYS Forum, my account's name was "urfuture_XGf" the first day i entered their forum, first shout on their shoutbox,unexpectedly, somebody named Japokskee was online that time... rang my thoughts about that nick since kilala rin niya ako.. at first i thought na siya rin ung guy na unang unang nagpost ng mga photos ko hindi sa yummypinays yahoo group but sa google.. un pala ibang tao... that very first day he made be a member of the yummypinays girls/babes (pink) may certain group kasi sila dun that time.. etc etc etc... being on that site,ansaya!kaya naman naengganyo talaga akong tumambay dun almost 24/7.Made my own personal thread ( i forgot the name of my thread na ) Masaya, Magulo sabihin na nating ive met lot of people,members and those who were in the forum's management. Been treated so nice kaya naman i considered myself as really part of the said group. Ive posted photos and videos on my personal thread and that RATED R section.some of my photos shouldnt be posted there so people on management made my own room titled Behind Closed Doors~Exclusively for your eyes only, at first those who has posted 500 posts ata that time eh hindi makakaaccess sa thread na un.. i was the only one who has the thread on that said topic.Hmm..
A member named Lex_luthor first posted some irritating message on my personal thread on my first or 2nd week since i put my own room on yummypinays written in arabic, became an issue sa mga tao sa management until nabanned si lex that time for three days coz of that post. After his suspension or being banned, we talked and voila that's the reason, the obvious reason, dahil lang sa hindi ko pinapansin daw ang messages niya sa YM ko. that time, when im online in the forum most of my attention talagang sa forum lang... i dont even open my YM and entertain messages such like that kasi talagang adikan mode sa posting ako noon.During those times naman, a CEO/Admin named Kelotz aside from other members na dumadamoobs ang talagang nalink sa akin. Sumabay si Lex that time... i couldnt give much of my attention to Lex for i know na meron siyang gf that time.. ( haka haka ko lang po un dati ) sa hindi sinasadya ng pagkakaton, let's say.. kelotz and I became "US" everybody knows that for visible naman un sa lahat na kami.I felt na dissappointed si Lex sa nangyari but he stopped everything about us because mahalaga daw sa kaniya ang mga kaibigan niya, sacrifise etc etc etc daw.. and so on...
One of the yummypinays unforgetable member named KOBLINE naman ang pumasok sa scene when me and Kelotz were together... talagang he's been vocal about his feelings. knowing the fact that kami na ni kelotz, some members hanggang simple hanga lang talaga ang gawa but iba si kobline... he doesnt and didnt care kahit pa sino makabangga niya basta maiparamdam and mapaalam niya sa akin that he really do love me.. i know buong management nabagabag sa pagpasok nga ni kobline. hanggang sa... yeah, everytime na pumasok si kobline sa site, automatic banned siya, hanggang sa suspension and IP Blocked nangyari sa account niya.Fault ko rin siguro dahil i talk too much and give time sa mga posts ng mga other members and entertain them ( not as suitors ok, just for fun lang sa site ) but naging seryoso kaya hanggang sa suspension napunta ang scene.I thought naiintindihan ni kelotz un, for when we were talking talagang ok naman, but behind those messages, iba na pala ginagawa ni kelotz, somebody told me na he's been sending messages sa mga ibang members na nakikita niyang dumadamoobs sa akin sa site, using normal username.he's been banning members, well hindi ko naman talaga alam and hindi un confirmed kung totoo or hindi basta un lang ang narinig ko.Same on his part kasi me mga naririnig rinig daw siya that ive been flirting and making bf's behind his back.. well well.. matter of trust i guess.. but what happned was, hindi namin un napaguusapan pag kaming dalawa na lang ang naguusap.he asks and i answers him but sa loob loob ata hindi naniniwala. blah blah blah.... i became busy with my work.. hindi nakakapaglog in, hindi rin nakakatwag ng kasing dalas ng dati kay Kelotz, nabawasan ang time and communication namin sa isa't isa.when we got time na magusap last year, April ata un, i was surprised kasi Kelotz asked me na magcool off daw muna kami.. well, to make the story short, i agreed.i know my shortcomings, and maybe we really needed time and space that time.. since cool off lang naman daw...2 days after not logging in sa yummypinays forum,pagpasok ko sa forum... i saw Kelotz profile page na may mga "i love you" messages comments dun, from SHUGAR and KELOTZ... awWwWw!!!i was shocked, and then sa mga postings sa thread.. para akong nilampasong parang ewan for theyve been exchanging i love you's there, as far as i know.. wala pang nakakaalam ng cool off namin ni Kelotz sa yummypinays.. even other members were shocked on what the saw and read even sent me messages about it and asked me what's happenning...at first i told myself na aalis na ako sa yummypinays, lie low muna ako etc etc etc.. but hey! why should i?! parang sinabi ko ng sa isang laban eh ako ay talo... so i showed everyone that im still me despite of what's been happenning with us three... deadma ko silang dalawa, continued posting here and there sa forum, brought back khaye garcia people have known me about... and dun, lalong nageager ang ibang members to get me mas pa si kobline....kobline uses diff IPs and nicks just to get back on yummypinays...kasi sabi ko nga everytime na pumasok siya, agad agad bann siya... i didnt cared much about Kelotz and shugar will gonna think of what me and kobline were doing on the forum for i know im already free and ok nman sila... khaye garcia's back om business i mean, became again visible and free to everyone since alam nilang kelotz and shugar's already "lovers" ... accidentally, i wanted to show some posts to kobline one day, but the prob was hindi siya makaaccess sa YP. i gave him my password there and after that... BANG! the next day i went on logging in sa yummypinays forum, im already IP BANNED!!! nagulat ako for i didnt know kung ano ang nangyayari.. i talked to everyone i know from that said forum and they told me that si Kelotz lang ang pwedeng gumawa ng ganong actions sa site. i asked kelotz about that and he told me na nadamay lang daw ang account ko sa pagbann niya kay kobline, he traced na ginamit nga ni kobline daw ang account ko etc etc etc.. ok fine! the next day.. i expected na ok na account ko sa Yummypinays kas nga aayusin nmn daw ni kelotz.. fVck! this time.. one year suspended naman ang account ko...nagalit ako! and yeah, i confronted kelotz about it and wala siyang masabi... kinahapunan that day, and since that day.. ive been recieving YM messages saying na wala daw ung room ko sa yummypinays, mga photos,videos,posts pati account ko wala daw silang makita sa forum!!! banas na banas ako!! fVck! what's happenning?!inaway ko talaga si kelotz that time.. ano ba ang problema niya?! at ano ba ang ginagawa niya sa account ko... ang sabi, nakainvisible mode lang naman daw ang account ko sa yummypinays.... i asked him why is he doing that on my account.. ang sabi.. baka daw may maghanap sa akin! what the fVck!! ang sabi ko sa kaniya, natural lang na may mga maghahanap sa akin.. anong palagay niya sa akin?!kinausap ko lahat ng mga kakilala ko about sa nangyayari and ayun.. wala nga daw silang magagawa.. dapat daw si kelotz daw ang kausapin ko about that! fVcking s#it!!!!well well well... paikliin ko na lang... un ang nangyari... hindi ko na kinausap si kelotz, anyone from yummypinays since nonsense.. si kelotz lang naman daw ang me pakana ng nangyayari sa account ko.. ok fine!i was what.. nawalan ng paa at kamay.. i didnt know kung san ako pupunta kung ano gagawin ko kasi sa YP lang talaga ako nagMain sa lahat ng accounts ko online..sounded walang wenta pero that's what ive felt that time... i treated everyone there fair and my 2nd home and family online tas ganun ang nangyari.. navanished si khaye garcia.. and fVcking shit!!! bawal akong pagusapan sa forum... nabalitaan ko, some members been trying to open nga ung about sa akin, bakit bigla akong nawala daw etc etc.. and what happenned was, everytime na may magpost na member about me my name or what and anything about me, either automatic banned, ignored or me mga magsasabi from the management na "that topic has been closed" i gave up...ilang beses ko silang kinausap particularly kelotz pero wala.. wlang nangyari...
i moved on.
i said, after what ive done ganon ganon na lang ang gagawin sa akin...what rules did i violated on forum?!more on personal lahat ng nangyari.... tsk tsk tsk
i made myself busy, i made distance from yp people well, other from that site became true on me naman until now, some friends there adopted me on their sites ( in different nick and invisible ) total wala si khaye garcia from yp people...
i hang out on different sites on net, forums etc etc.. as in wala sa YP.
last year, a new site of YP invited me to come and visit their site... t'was mommy kring's site... YP BLOG ( google group )... naging issue na naman...
http://www.opensubscriber.com/message/Yummypinays@googlegroups.com/8098845.html
that's one issues since nawala ako sa YP Forum.. and then early this year.. since nagiging active ako sa FHM... to be exact at FHM Bullboard.. some people got some of my posted shots that ive uploaded in FHM and postes it on one of yahoo groups, PRIVATE PINAY... a friend of mine gave me the said posted thread on that said group and yeah, twas me! another friend of mine, met in YP before was or is one of the administrator on private pinays scolded me about those photos... i understand what he told me.. pero wala na akong magagawa, as ive said a million times, accepted ko ang fact ng mga actions ko, thats why before taking a decision and actions, i know what's its consequences... i thanked him for the advises that he gave me.. btu after that incident in private pinay.. a friend of mine, a Moderator of Yummypinays Yahoo group, i call him PAPA PIOLO shared also those said photos of mine from FHM and private pinay on yahoo groups yummypinays.. nagalit ako kasi, kaibigan ko si papa piolo.. hindi niya kelangang magpost ng anything about me behind my back kasi even before pag me kelangan ang grupo sabihin man nating wala na ako sa forum, sa yahoo group.. pag me kailangan, madali lang nila akong makausap.. they know where to find me.. pero sa nangyari... basta basta na lang siyang naglabas ng mga photos ko ng hindi nagsasabi sa akin.. i talked with Papa Piolo.. and he told me na hindi daw niya ako mahagilap etc etc etc.. well, maybe ngkataong may mood swings ako that time kaya ako nagalit ng ganon ganon sa kaniya.. he asked me na kung gusto ko raw ba magpublic apology daw siya sa ginawa niya sa yahoo group.i told him na hindi na.. huwag na lang.. those pix have been already posted and im the one who uoloaded those stuffs so wala ng kaso sa akin un... all i wanna tell him na hindi niya kelangang gawin un ng hindi sinasabi sa akin... nagalit lang ako kasi... matagal na rin kaming magkakilala, nagkakusap naman kami bakit hindi niya sinabi man lang sa akin ang tungkol dun?!well un lang...
after that, nagisip isip ako... telling people that im khaye garcia... a yummypinays member, YP's muse etc etc eh parang walang sense for matagal na rin akong hindi member ng YP.one day, i saw my mareng kath's YM status... link ng bagong YP Forum.. i went there, made an account.. again... sabi ko kasi, tutal matagal na rin and what happnned before ok na for me...just to make know that im still a YP member, BUT i promised myself not to becoame khaye garcia na nakilala nila before sa YP... i wont post sich things like ng mga nilagay ko dati sa dating forum nila.. para lang masabing andun ako.. un lang...
On the first day... i put my avatar, personal photo, fixed my account there and voila! im alive again... hmMm... i participated on threads, posted nonsense just to make posts... ok naman... hindi ko pa siya nabrowse ng maigi that day so the next day i went there.. fVck! one year suspended lang naman po ang account ko... and for what reason, hindi ko alam... i asked kelotz about that ang he told me wala daw siyang alam dun.. i know naman this time na wala talagang kinalaman si kelotz dun kasi ok na kami ni kelotz, we've been already talking like normal friends before pa ako pumasok sa forum... si isang araw akong hindi nakapasok sa YP Forum, the next day after that, i got kelotz' message saying na ok na daw ung account ko... nalaman ko na si LEX ang nagbann sa akin... nalaman ko rin from mareng kath that people on the management has been talking my case on their thread.. fWHAT?! my case?! anong kaso ko?! ang sabi.. kesyo ano daw reactions ng mga members sa pagbalik ko, kung ok daw ba sa kanila.. etc etc.. and theyve been deciding kung ano daw ba ang gagawin sa account ko etc etc.. mareng kath personally told me that kung siya raw ako, i wouldnt log in na lang daw dun.. sabi niya.. ok naman daw ako sa mga sites na meron akong account.. i dont have to be there for may mga better future daw ako sa ibang sites! ang sabi ko naman... well, sinabi ko reason ko, since pinaguusapan ako sa ibat ibang groups in yahoo and sites na kesyo im YP member, kaya lang ako gumawa ng account but... un nga.. galit si lex kasi kesyo may mga sinabi daw akong masasamang salita against sa group, msasakit na salita against shugar and i have to say sorry, public apology sa lahat about what i did last year.. fVck! cino ginago nila?! bakit ako magsosorry?! ano ba ang ginawa ko sa kanila?! ang alam ko.. i was mad and totally pissed off with what theyve done with my account last year tas ako pa ngaun ang masama?!tas sasabihin ni lex ako daw ang may mali.. na nagbago na daw ako... fVck! san ako nagbago?! how i wish na nagbago na ako!! but hey.. im still me and even if nagbago ako, thats just because of my experinces, ive learned some lessons in life and hindi un konektado sa YP Forum... that time pinaguusapan pa rin daw ang kaso ko sa thread nila... hmMm...so as curiousity, i went again there ( sinabihan na kasi ako ng mga kakilala kong wag ng pumasok dun! sus! ) i saw my profile.. walang photos... walang anything sa profile ko... just my posts sa general chatbox nila ( ICE BREAKER ) and what the.... ayun! supah parinig ung SHUGAR and KULITZ na kesyo im not welcome naman daw dun... sinisiksik ko daw sarili ko dun na kesyo they're pertaining me as "DAGA" and theyve been waiting for me and nagtatago daw ako kesyo takot daw ako sa kanila kaya hindi daw ako naglolog in.. fVck!i ignored those pitiful messages and posts.. i just continued posting and posting until wala pang dalwang oras na online sa forum, banned na naman ako! whoah!! what the fck talaga!!! sa buset ko... kinausap ko si kelotz and asked kung ano ang nangyayari.. kinabukasan ko na nalaman ang sagot...
Nanu pa nga ba?! Shugar paid almost half of the prize sa domain ng YP Forum kaya nabiuksan ulet.. accdg to some sources.. kaya pala nsa management na siya...and ive got the feelings that SHUGAR and KULITZ were the one who has been deleting my photos in my profile there and talagang para silang ewan na post ng post ng mga kung anu anong out of the topic sa forum.tuluy tuloy silang dalawang nagpopost ng mga parinig tungkol nga daw dito sa "daga" etc etc etc...lahat ng pposts ko sinusundan nilang dalawa.. Who's KULITZ?! well,ive met her from yummypinays forum last year, she was still a newbie that time.. pinormahan ni TIGZHALAS ROMANTIKO, a friend of mine na mejo pumorma rin sa akin before silang maging sila ni KULITZ ( for the record, wala na sila ngaun ) dati yang kulitz na yan super feeling close sa akin, greets me here and there even in my friendster account, leaving sweet nottings testimonials etc etc kaya nga i was shocked ans surpried for what's happning with her bakit pati siya nakikisama sa mga parinig effect netong shugar na to sa forum mismo..and now they're saying na plastik ako?!fVck!!! as soon as i read their posts there.. i deleted KULITZ as my friend in my friendster account.. sorry to say pero hindi ako talagang nagdedelete nor nagbloblock ng mga members sa kahit sang account ko but with what has been happenning, i did it! ive deleted her... For whatever reason she have for her actions now, i dont care.. im done with them.. im already pissed off and im really dissappointed.. ive been telling them na nasisira ang pangalan nismo ng grupo sa mga taong ganyan ang ugali. Mali kasi nilagyan nila ng psosiyon sa management ang mga taong tulad nila.. is there any success for the group for such members?! i dont think so... i know naman from the start na HINDI as in UNOFFICIAL SITE ang YUMMYPINAYS FORUM, but still tama nga siguro.. sinisiksik ko sarili ko sa kanila.. i know where YUMMYPINAYS the real ones is...pero dun pa rin ako pumapasok...i gave up.. i give up on them...
maybe there's still contuation about this "case" for until now, ganyan pa rin ang nangyayari sa yp forum.. walang pagbabago... getting much worse lang... so hindi na rin ako nakikipagparticipate sa kanila... some members from YP up to this moment eh kaibigan talaga pakikitungo sa akin, hindi man visible in public but maybe much better na ung ganito.. we talk not in YP FORUM but in private...i was once a YP, will always be?! i dont know... who knows?! basta, all i know is that its one of my, khaye garcia's life ONLINE....


*burp*

almost same topic >>>

http://khayegarcia.multiply.com/journal/item/22/Breaking_MY_Silence
http://khayegarcia.multiply.com/journal/item/24/OK_PAYN_i_dont_want_other_people_na_MAPAHIYA

Khaye Garcia 3

i know its kinda late to introduce myself with you pals... maybe im that kinda bored or in the mood to write sumthin somewhere sumthin.. some kinda enlightenment towards other people who doesnt really know who khaye garcia really is and was....
Few years ago, coz of boredom, napagtripan ko ang net...
upon browsing, hindi nakuntento.. ive tried entering sites, foreign and even adult sites :P la la la la la.... hindi rin naman kasi ako ganon ka adik sa net before, since i know ive got lot of things to do here in real life than staying 24/7 infront of a thing... and then, hindi ako nakuntento sa email (snail mails) at sa pabisibisita lang sa mga sites... ive made accounts on yahoo first... etc etc etc.. and then nasurf ko isang yahoo group... sabi yummypinays daw... well, i got intrigued by that group so i joined them.. twas a yahoo group first. Since bihira lang akong magbukas ng PC ko that time, one time when i opnned my snial mail.. voila!!!! puno agad ang mailbox ko.. whew!!! twice akong nagpalit ng account ko sa yummypinays yahoo group by that time, dun din nagstart ang paggawa ko ng net name ko since i cant reveal my real name in public lalo na sa net not for myself but for my family and relatives na masyadong malapit sa chismis! hahahaha... i became close especially to the management of that group.... known by few members pero.. since hindi naman ako ganun kaactive sa kanila at kung san sang sites pa ako natambay, di gaya ng YP yahoo group nsa mail box ko lang sila by that time... hanggang sa chatroom ang nakalaban ng attention ko sa mga forums/sites.... my cousin from switzerland invited me to come and join them in their chatroom, yes... Tagalog Room...dun ako naadik, almost every time i logged in, dun ako sa tag room... chat dito chat dun... blah blah blah.. naiinvite ng mga kung sino sino sa kung san saang chatrooms... well, just to ease my boredom i did all those stuffs... hmMM... napagkasunduan namin ng cuzz kong si may ann ung taga switzerland na sabay kaming umuwi ng Pinas one time... and we did that!!! we both went home in Philippines, took our vacation and yeah.. had gimiks!!! nagkataon rin namang meron palang kaibigan si may ann na uuwi ng pinas from korea that time.. she also have met the guy thru the net.. well, purely friends... anyways...sa mdaling salita.. we went home.. the night before my bday, we stayed me with my cousins in our house in Novaliches, dun na rin kami pinuntahan nung friend ni may ann.. si antz...ive met him, he's cool, funny, down to earth.. supah!! talagang ok na ok kasama... kahit bday ko dumating pa rin siya... until maging everyday na magkakasama kaming tatlo :D sa bawat gimik... etc etc etc... and yeah, i got developed on him... i never expected.. kasi una, wala.. iba siya.. hindi siya uhmm.... whatever.. basta.. iba talaga pag nadevelop ka :D hahahhaaa.... hanggang sa makarating ako ng Puerto Galera with him on their resthouse there... almost 4 days kami ata dun or 5 and then balik manila and then sya naman eh umuwi ng korea for lilipat na naman siya ng ibang destination ( US Air Force ) i think sa italy ang next nya.... while me, ive stayed again in pampanga-tarlac with of course my family... but afterwards.. after my 3 weeks of stay in Philippines... Antz invited me to come in Korea before going back here in Japan... well :rolleyes* sino ba naman ako para tumanggi :D :D :D sige.... GO GO GO!!!one week din ako dun :P hmMm... unfortunately... hindi kami pwdeng maging kami... he wants me to stay in Phil for good that time ( na ang sabi ko naman eh hindi pwede dahil sayang din ang visa ko dito sa Japan ) bibisi bistahin na lang daw niya ako sa Pinas... but hey!!! he just told me he doesnt want to have any commitments... if ever FUBU lang.. meaning... friends with benefits... nung time na yun.. puso kasi pinaiiral ko... nunca!!! yoko nga :P so itinuloy ko uwi ko dito sa japan, and since that day... hindi na kami naging maayos... wala... parang wala....




to be continued.....

Khaye Garcia 2

i know its kinda late to introduce myself with you pals... maybe im that kinda bored or in the mood to write sumthin somewhere sumthin.. some kinda enlightenment towards other people who doesnt really know who khaye garcia really is and was....
I was born on 17th day of April year 1984 in Tarlac City.My father's an engineer, working in Japan that time and mha mom's a nurse/midwife. I have a sister and a brother, tig-dadalawang taon ang agwat namin...im the youngest. I was a year and a half when my mom and dad got separated, for whatever reason was... my mom went here and there out of the country to work for us her kids.., i grew up with my sister by my grandmother, my mother's mom, a retired highschool teacher and principal in our town, while my brother went to my father's mom.
on my early childhood, everybody liked and loved me.. since ako nga ang bunso.. each and everyone especially my maternal side... whew!!! wala pa akongmuwang sa mundo.. hiram dito hiram jan daw nangyare sa akin.. hahahaha.... but! lagi kong bitbit mommy (lola) ko.. kasi kung hindi kasama mommy ko, hindi nila ako mapapasama... hahaha... makamommy talaga ako since birth, dumating man ang mama ko sa pinas, hindi ako gaanong tumatabi dun... sa mommy ko lang talaga ako, sabay matulog, maligo, kumain, mamasyal, mag aral kahit maglaro...sabi nga nila, batang bata pa ako pero para na daw ako lola ko... hahahaa.... meron pa nga, hindi ako lumalabas ng compound ng lola ko when i was a kid... hahahaha.. para daw akong takot sa mga tao.. parang tipong, kung gusto daw akng makita... dapat daw papasok pa sa mismong bahay namin... hahahaha...
very proud sa akin family ko especially my grandmother since i was born lalo pa nung magstart akong magaral... yeah! sobrang disciplinarian,conservative, masyadong pulido kung magturo at magsubaybay lalo na sa pagaaral ang mommy ko sa akin...kilalang kilala kasi ang mommy ko so sguro pride na rin lang niya un kung bugok ang mga apo niya.sa sports kasi nalinya ang ate ko simula ng magaral kami, samantalang sa akin napunta academics and extra culliculars ng school
ELEMENTARY
declaimer ( Gr.1-6 )
tula/baligtasan ( Gr.3, Gr.5-6 )
english/science/tagalog quix bees ( Gr.1-6 )
slogan/essay writer ( Gr.4-6 )
A-1 Child ( Gr.1,Gr.3-6 )
Star/Girl Scout ( Gr.1-Gr.6 )
DLBC ( Gr.2-6 )
ive been always in start section, every year nasa Top 10....lahat ng sinalihan ko, hindi pwedeng hindi ako first at hindi pwedeng hindi ako makapunta hanggang district or regional... well, sabi nila dahil nga daw sa lola ko ang tutor ko.. waaaaaaaahh.. para naman nilang sinabing im not deserving! hahahahaa....
i remmber, my first and only contest na ikinaiyak at ikinasama ng loob ko when i was in elementary... i was in Grade 5 ata that time... i ranked 3rd place in declamation... fVck!!! district contest pa lang un... 3rd ako... naiyak ako!!! sinisi ko?! well... i wasnt rehearsed that well before the competition.. nagkasakit ang kapatid ng mommy ko who lives in Kamuning Quezon City that time and she had to go there para bantayan at alagaan kapatid niya.. i had no choice kaya ung teacher ko lang ang nagturo sa akin ng piece kong un... and i wont ever forget that... natalo ako! pinakamasakit sa akin un!!! since grade 1, ako ang laging nananalo.. laking gulat ng buong district kahit mga scoolmates ko that time.. for the first time.. natalo ako.. and ive felt that kind of feelings... the following school year.. sabi ko hindi na ako sasali pa ng declamation but still, my teacher told me. na last year ko na un sa school, and they trust me and they know this time i will be able to make it and bring back what ive lost for a year... whew!!! and yeah!!!! i did it.. once more for the last time in my elementary days.... well well well.... matagal ko ng gustong ipost ang mga pieces ko since ive started declaiming but ive got no choice for all my copies were in my mommy's house and im really planning to get those when i get there...
oh, i recieved my first loveletters from guys well my classmates when i was in elementary... nun din ako nagkaroon ng first stalker... hahahhahaa...
HIGHSCHOOL
declaimer ( 1st-2nd year )
slogan/essay ( 1st-3rd year )
DLBC ( 1st-4th year )
theatre ( 1st-4th year )
Litturgical Committee ( 1st-4th year )
Dance Group ( 2nd-4th year )
CAT ( 3rd year )

my highschool years... sabi nila... eto raw ang the best years para sa lahat.. ang High School Life!! but... i dont know... hindi ko ata masyadong napansin kung anu ano ang mga nangyari sa aking when i was in high school na masasabi kong the best of my years...JS prom?! yeah, ive attended but.. what's so special about it?! hahaha.. nakisabay lang ata ako sa uso na kesyo kinilig kilig ek ek that time together with my barkadas...
ano ba palpak ko when i was in HS... hmMm... ive learned how to smoke and drink ( its all self-study.. so walang dapat sisihin :P ) mag-ober-da-bakod! hahahah.. cutting classes... barkada... gimik!!!! i had suitors pero wala akong masasabing fafa that time kasi me tipo ata ako that time kaso me dyowa na :D :D :D whatelse.. nakalimutan ko na ata :P
COLLEGE
Miss Tarlac
Miss ComSci
Cheerleader
Dance Group

when i graduated in HS, sa sobrang tigas daw ng ulo ko... ipinunta ako ng mom and mommy ko sa tita ko ( my father's eldest sister ) well yeah, that time me kinalolokohan kasi akong fafa taga sa amin :D :D :D mala-Romeo and Juliet, pinaghiwalay kami kuno :D hahahaha.... maganda naman ang buhay ko dun, i lived with my father's side naman.. all these time kasi sa mother's side lang talaga ako ganun kaclose.... ditto naman sa tita kong ito! hahaha.. terror ng family ng tatay ko.. un ang sabi nila... palibhasa... sosyal! :D :D :D walang makadikit na ni isa sa mga pinsan ko sa tita kong un :D katakot daw kasi, bawat kilos mo napapansin, me parusa pag me palpak.. well.. ewan ko lang kung bakit naging supah close kami ng tita kong yun.. ano kaya?! dahil kaya sa pareho kaming malaret?! hahahaha... mga social gatherings, town fiestas, events ako lagi binibitbit ng tita kong un! hahahaha... dinadamitan, kasama sa parlor, ipinakikilala sa mga kung sino sino na me mga pangalan sa lugar nila... mejo may place kasi siya sa municipality of Tarlac :P ( o ayan.. clue about me :P ) hmMm... ive studied my college a sem and a half sa Tarlac, malas kasi di ako pwedeng maglande sa university.. dean kasi pinsan ng tita kong un dun :D hahaha.. mga chismosong matatandang ito! ahhahahaa.... ang prob lang... every night, lagi kong kausap diary ko... sabi ko, i have everything, food,clothing,shelter,decent lifestyle but i aint makin me happy and contented.. i cant meet and choose people na gusto kong kitain at kausapin... haaayyzz..
2002, my mommy's sistar who lives in QC died, gave me the opportunity na makaalis sa poder ng tita kong un.. yeah, i made that my reason to get out of their place at hindi na ako bumalik... after the burial of my lola ( my mommy's sister ) nayakag naman ako ng childhood bestfriend ko na magaral sa Dagupan... ahihihihihi... chance! ayun! i told my mommy about that and she allowed me to go there and rent my own apartment.. aral aral aral....
nawala ako sa linya ng academics, nauwi ako sa puro extracullicular.. got no time to study enough my lessons palibhasa excuse kasi.. laging may mga rehearsals, etc etc etc... that was the time also na every night talagang gimik to the max ako with my friends, nalibot ko nga ata lahat ng restos sa Dagupan eh :D :D :D since talagang lamon lang gawa ko when i was there ( and i really misses those kinda routine ) that was also the time when i heard myself singing infront of a crowd.. hahaha.. nagkaroon ng mga kakilalang banda sa madalas naming tambayan ng mga friends ko sa Lucao.hanggang sa maging suki at maging part ng band ng isa sa mga banda sa Padis Point Dagupan :P hahaha... kulang kulang one sem rin ata nagugol ko sa lugar na yun... hahaha.. well of course hindi alam ng mommy ko un :P baka batukan ako :D :D :D
well, that's it.. my life before ako makapunta ng Japan :P
magulo
masarap
puro ligaya!!!!



to be continued....

Khaye Garcia 1

i know its kinda late to introduce myself with you pals... maybe im that kinda bored or in the mood to write sumthin somewhere sumthin.. some kinda enlightenment towards other people who doesnt really know who khaye garcia really is and was....
i first came here Sept 2004 until March 2005 as an entertainer , 6 months contract, ang plano ko while waiting for my visa going to switzerland with my tita and my cousins, punta ako dun since wala naman akong ginagawa sa pinas during that time... napagod na rin sa akin ang mommy (lola) ko sa tigas ng ulo ko, so binalak kong punta ng japan and then few months bago matapos ang 6month visa ko as a singer tinanggap ko ng uuwi ako ng pinas na hindi man lang nagkaroon ng japanese bf :)) but a month before March 2005 i met this jap guy he's 25yo that time we've been together since the moment weve met each other from 11am until before start ng work ko which 7pm that timeand then, he still goes on my work to see and be with me from 7pm until 3amtapos kasi ng work ko was 3 amfrom 3 am until 5 am magkasma pa rin kami sa labas...araw araw yan until makauwi ako ng Pinas ng March 2005turo sa akin ng mga beteran na kasama ko sa work that timepag ang hapon sinabing uuwi ng pinas, oo lang daw sagot kosince first time ko pa lang sa japan that timethat jap guy told me hat he'll come and visit me sa pinaswhen i went home March 2005 March 2005continues pa rin ang communication namineveryday calls and then wala pang one month na nsa pinas ako pumunta siya and asked me to marry himthat timeok naman eh.. he's young handsome sweet and mabait i fell inloved with him and April 2005we got marriedkasama na niya akong bumalik sa Japan ng May 2005and then...one year living with him and his familyeverything's fine and talagang masayatas mga inlaws ko they treated me as not their daughter in law but as in baby nila ako i was so happy with my life 2006, i planned to go back to the Philippines for a vactionstayed there 3 weeks and one week in koreapagbalik ko dito japaneverything seemed for me as normali went back to work and so on one of my bestfriend went to another bar to workfunny coz since m first time here in japan isa lang ang bar na pinagtratrabahuan ko butdun sa bar na un nakakagulat kasifrom girls to staff until management kilala ako hanggang sa kung ano gestures ko from matulog hanggang magising ako lahat alam pati the way i sleep,walk,talk,pati pagpunta ko ng cr alami know my exhubby un palathe moment na wala akoung styleniya sa akin the first time we've met eh ginagawa niya sa isang babae dun sa bar na un... number one dun ung araw araw, from 11am until 5am kasma...know what i meanmadaldal ang exhubby kolahat ikukuwento s akahit na sinoi felt really bad that time i even tried to kill myself that timethe moment i knew that after ng work kothat was fridaypinuntahan ko ung said bar to look for that girlampwalafriday, saturday, sundayi went therewalaalmost 2 whole weeks akong walang kinakain, alak lang yosi and walang tulog ang ginawa ko...sinusundo ako ng manager ko to get t work para daw wag akong magstay sa bahay and think of things na masama but funny kasi nsa work ako pero i was walking like dead umiiyak akoas in my tears came down to falling while i was workingkakaatuwa kasi kahit na ganon ak, i got lots of money sa work ko that time i confronted my exhubbynakikita niyang sirang sira na akoknow whatshit he showed me our divorced papers he wanted me to sign itgoddamnpinunit ko un sa harapan niya with tears on my eyessabi kobakit ko pipirmahan ang divorced papers knowing the fact that i havent done anything wrongsira lahatbuhay kowork ko.. di ko namafocused that time i even had thoughts of using drugs that timebut the problem is, hindi ako marunong gumamit and my friends doesnt want to teach me kaya dinaan ko sa diet pillsas in papayat ako to deathnalaman ko pa kagaguhan ng exhubby ko pinunta niya ung girl sa bahay ng mga byenan ko without my knowledgeand worse plastik ang mga byenan ko sa akinwala silang binanggit sa akinas inthey showede still the same themkaya wala akong clue sa mga pinaggagagawa ng exhubby ko behind my backfromt hat moment, never na akong humarap sa kanila.. as in... i turned my back on them...nakakapanghinayang kasi ang saya saya ng pagsasama sama naming lahat then dahil lang sa pagkaplastik nila... no... 2006 my worst year...




to be continued....