Christmas 2008

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

TROJAN VIRUS

damn it..

i openned my mailbox here in friendster this morning ( 1am ) i recieved a msge,

a link included

saying i must be careful next time,

when i clicked the link,

a video was openned

unfortunately it says i have to DL a new version of flash (wtv) so i did it,

then VOILA!!!

my IE couldnt work anymore..

my AV told me that my PC has this TROJAN ekek...

i was rattled and asked for help to everyone in my contacts,

great theyVe helped me and fixed my PC problem.

Thanks to those who have helped me..

so for everyone to know..

this is the link of the person who have sent me that stupid fucking LINK/MESSAGE..

http://profiles.friendster.com/user.php?uid=12117540

^^ gustong sumikat ni totoy tsktsktsk

do what you guys think is best for this person!

thanks!

No Matter What..... It's my LIFE!

It's all in my mind right now to post this thing here.
For several months not even writing anything here, i told myself to put sumthin to write sumthin knowing the fact that nobody i guess is reading my notes.
Howell, as everyone knows ive been married for years now, got separated few years ago and now, my 4th time to recieve divorce papers from my exhubby.
I dont know whatelse to say nor do about it for i guess im already tired of same set up for years me and my exhubby's having.
This past few months after almost everyday recieving msges from him asking me to sign those papers, i fin'lly decided to sign it as soon as possible.
He told me that he'll gonna give me those papers by next week.
And its up to me whether to sign it or not by the moment he'll hand it down.
I know few months or years ago that everything will just end up this way, it's just that maybe im not ready yet.
I've been living here in Japan for almost 4years and a half...
Im not yet ready to come back to the Philippines for good....
I got my visa for three years and it will become useless if i wont use it...
Let's say me and my exhubby's been already separated and im already living on my own but, its different from a separated to a divorced woman, most especially for someone like me who have no one here in Japan.
I have my job,
I have friends,
I can do i guess, most of the things i wanna do...
but... it's too different!
Im gonna be totally ALONE by the time we divorced.
Im thinking of going to far away places
like Philippines, or go and stay with my relatives in Nagoya
Actually, ive asked my tito about my situation last night and he told me that he'll gonna talk to his wife about it.
I can't leave my work here in Gunma right now for i have let's say, contract.
So maybe while waiting for my end of contract here, i'll change my apartment first.
Ive been looking for some advices from my friends last night and i got almost the same advices,
"Sign those papers, leave everything behind.... move on!"
I actually dont have much confidence about this but...
So that's it...
I guess...
This will gonna be the present im gonna give for myself this Christmas....



My freedom....

Philippines 2008

i arrived around 2 in the afternoon @ NAIA Centennial Terminal 2 ( ata un ) last July 9, 2008.. my mom picked me up... chika chika pa sa labas ng airport for we've been waiting for somebody that time... ( may nagpadala kasi ) Wala sa plano but after that, niyaya ako ng nanay ko sa MOA... i told her that i have schedule and planned that after the airport we'll go direct to Moncada, same day.. diretcho sa Pampanga...but tigas ng ulo ng nanay ko.. she told me saglit lang daw sa MOA.. fine!!! we went there ung saglit inabot ng hours... napagod rin siguro nanay ko kakagala sa mall.. we went home and decided not to go to Pampanga na lang kasi nga gabi na.. ang kaso.. super kulit ng pinsan kong si may ann... people in Pampanga's expecting me to be there that night.. so nangyari.. umuwi ng Moncada mama ko.. while me, nagpasundo na sa mga kamag anak ko sa Dau Terminal...

When my relatives saw me.. standing infront of that Jollibee store in Dau.. sabihan daw ba naman akong mukha daw akong malnaurished... (LOL) f*ckie ko... ang sabi ko, malulusog lang sila kaya hindi nila maappreciate ang katawan ko... hmMm... pagsundo nila sa akin sa Dau... diretcho na ligo, bihis porma... gala na.. sa KLUB BOSSA!! We were 15 ata that time... and naubos namin almost 4 bottles of tequilla, plus mo pa mga beer as chasers.. SARAP!!! wagwag ako paglabas ng bar that night ( or should i say, morning the next day! ) as in... bangenge.. but i loved it!!!!Malas nga lang, wala akong natake out na guy that time... (LOL)

The next day... hindi na ako pinaalis ng pinsan ko.. nagshopping tuloy ako ng mga damit undies slippers etc etc sa Pampanga...kinagabihan... KLUB BOSSA na naman... this time, hindi ako nagpakabangenge.. talagang tinatakasan ko bawat tagay.. hahahhaa...ive met the vocalist of one of the bands there... thou wala lang... just to say na may nakilala.. cge lang.. GO! mukhang nagtratrabaho talaga ung singer, i can say so.. thats why, imbes na sungkitin.... working techniques napagusapan na nauwi sa wala (LOL) next day... despidida ni may ann... 2 days from that day, balik na naman siya sa switzerland...nagparent na ako ng karaoke/videoke sa bahay para wala ng lalabas at dun na lang makijamming sa buong family.. swakto, i woke up na wala siya... tumakas ako at dumaan sa mommy ko sa Moncada...balikan rin lang ako but i know.. sulit naman at nagsilip ko sa familia ko dun.. i hugged and kissed my mommy na talagang namiss ko... i saw my kuya wih his two chikitings and his wife... di ko nga lang nakita baby ng ate ko na nasa singapore.. umuulan kasi that time... pupuntahan ko sana ang kaso mejo masama na ang pakiramdam ko that time and talagang pinilit ko lang talagang gumala at magpunta ng moncada for im not sure kung kelan pa ako malilibre...

That night, bumalik ako ng Pampanga.. gulat ako kasi andun na lahat ng family, umiinom.. kumakain... tas biglang nagyaya si May ann ng Klub Bossa... i cant say NO... tumakas kami kahit na away sila to the max ng nanay niya si anntot.... pagdating namin dun... unexpectedly... ayun!!!! kakahanap ng fafa, nakadenggoy nga ng fafa!!!He's the guy na nakaheadband sa taas ng stage!!!!doing the right moves, we've met!!! na from that day.. until the moment na matauhan akong nakasakay na pala ako ng eroplano pabalik dito sa japan eh kasama ko.. namin ng family ko!!!

Sunday, hatid namin si May ann sa NAIA.. nakakalunos... ako maiiwan sa Pinas.. na scheduled dapat akong mastay sa Makati that day ( one night ) ang kaso.. cancelled.... Pagbalik sa Pampanga... yes,hanggang sa bumiyaha papuntang Makati... kami ang magkasama... Nakakatuwa kasi.. of all my past relationship, para sa kaniya lang ako hindi naginarte.. ung tipong, go go go lang kami... kugn may prob diretso naming nasasabi.. kung me ayaw, cge lang.. sabi agad.. kung may gusto.. go rin agad.. hindi gaya ng dati... iinarte ang lolah niyo!!!!until the last day na magkasama kami, sabi niya.. hindi daw ako seryoso.. matigas daw ako.. hindi daw ako iiyak.. at hindi rin ako patatalo!!! yon ang pagkakakilala niya sa akin....Pano ko sasabihin sa kaniyang.. MALI!! hindi totoo un....tama nga siguro ang pagkasabi ni kobline... kelangan kong ilabas ang tunay na ako na matagal ng itinatago ni khaye garcia... Pano ko gagawin un... sobra sobra ng sakit at hirap naranasan ng tunay na ako samantalang si khaye garcia.. so strong!!!! di natitibag!!!!


Klub Bossa...


Dun nagstart ang lahat.... bumyahe kami ng Makati July 16.... met Dennis and hushpuppy *winks* in flesh that day....

July 17... 100 Sexiest sa FHM.... i cant bring him there kasi wala siyang ticket... i had fun, kahit pa sabihin nating in two weeks i gained 6kg weight and talagang negra bandida ako, carry ko pa ring isuot ang damit ko for that night!!! KEBER!!!!!after that, onting inuman kulitan with other BBers then uwi na sana ang kaso... gimik sa BEDROCK malate ata?! tas... yeah.. diresto sa isang friends house.. actually, friend ni RON un... almost 6 na kami nakauwi sa Makati...

July 18, byahe pabalik ng Pampanga.. nakapagpromise kasi sa mga kalaway_ann cOMpany!!!! hahahaha.. as usual, tambay ulet ng BOSSA!!!! wala pang tulog, byahe ulet pabalik ng makati for may EB naman July 19 for cuzz jenna of BB....

July 20-21, yes... pahinga mode sa hotel!!!!ooopppsss.. me ekek EB pala nga kami nung July 20.. biglaan.... with mireeh and ruben!!! (LOL) and aaminin ko.. ang sarap!! thou... pagod na pagod na ako.. sayang.. kung may power pa sguro ako.. talagang rock en roll sana kami!!!! hmMmm...

July 21.... tulog!!!!!! gising ako until 4or 5 am ata that day... buti na lang nagising ako 630 kasi i have to give dean's jacket back... nakakhiya, pinaghintay ko ung tao sa baba.. and hindi ko man lang nakausap ng matino, why?! nakow naman... tulog ata akong naglalakad that time!!!! (LOL) sinoli ko lang ang jacket and balik na sa room.. haaaayyzz... sayang!!!!

July 21-22... tulog, pahinga mode...

July 22, around 5pm.. checked out the hotel and byahe na ng pampanga....sa Pampanga naman lumaklak ng alak until 4am.. (LOL) nagising around 7am.... umalis papuntang airport around 930am ata... nasiraan pa kami ng sasakyan (LOL)

July 23... hindi ko na alam.. wala ng script for that stage... nawala sa isip ko ang lahat.. parang ang gusto ko lang eh wag ipakita sa lahat na mahina ako.. na iyak na iyak na ako pero pigil at dinadaan ko na lang sa tawa at pagbigay ng joke!!!

Nagsisisi tuloy ako ngayon... wala akong fon ( ang number na alam ng mga taong mahal ko, hindi nila ako makokontak dito sa japan kasi sira ata ang fon ko, hindi ko pa naipapaayos ) at mas malas!!! wala akong copy ng mga numbers nila dun... kahit ng number ni ron!!!! shet!!! pano na to?!


i have lot of things to say.. i wanna say i wanna prove i wanna let them especially him know...PANO TO?!


Eto.. andito na naman ako sa kwartong wala ng ginawa kung hindi pagmasdan akong lumuha... at gumawa ng mga bagay bagya ng magisa....Ilang beses ko ng sinabi.. hindi na ako babalik dito pero bakit andito pa rin ako?! nasa Pinas na ako.. bakit ko pa pinakawalan ung opportunity na yon?! Not with anything else pero, noon ko pa sinasabing ayoko dito sa Japan.. pero ano to?!parang gusto ko na lang kumuha ng perang pang ticket then balik na agad ng pinas but.. saan ako pupunta this time?!ano ang gagawin ko kung nsa kamay ko na ang kalayaan, itinapon at binalewala ko lamang...



haaaayyyzz... buhay!!!!

UPDATES!

Its been so long again.. since i came and drop by on this blog of mine on net. Its just that ive been on other sites on net, been busy with my work ( although there came a trouble early this month with my job that caused me and my friends a lot trouble! ) etc etc etc.

What made me come back here now?! hahaha.. howell, nothing really special... It just came uot on my mind last night, and voila!!!! im here again.. trying to make my blog updated for those who do not know some of my accounts online... i can feel that there were few drops by here and lurk *rolleyes* or let's say... hahaha!! nakikichismis!!! :P :P :P

just check this out pals!! >> http://khayegarcia.multiply.com/ and http://khayegarcia84.multiply.com/ for more updates,rumours,gossips about me! hahahhaa :D :D :D that's if you guys really wanna just to read sumthin to keep you away from your boredom or what :P

To continue my blogs ( from this site... ive been updating my blogs on my multiply account so i have to skip from the months and days that i havent been here, yokai! )

hmMmm...

i went out of reach from all the people from net for almost a week last week, i guess.... i never went online... i didn't checked nor updated any of my accounts on net..... i haven't talked to anyone from net during these days.... i didn't even openned my mailbox nor my YM.... ive been totally invisible for those on net.....

wHy?!

Well, as few of the people who really keeps on tracking/monitoring/checking/following wherever I post updates about myself knows what's been happenning with my life these past few days... The only reason of that dissappearance effect was... well... i just really needed to make distance from my laptop :D nothing more nothing less... im not avoiding anyone!!! People knows me as *adik* on net.. once i logged in, that just means that im almost online 24/7 ( well of course that depends on some certain circumstances *winks* ) and i cant just ignore what im facing right now here... i have to think, take actions about it and try my best to resolve and put things on right path... but if im infront of my laptop... nothing will change!!! i, yeah... am happy, i won't feel stressed out, i have lots of people to talk with and things to do when im online but nothing could help me to solve my problem, time just flies out but when i logged out... there it is!!! still.... i still have lots of problems... That's why i came up with the decision to lie low from the net and face everything im having here right now.... And good thing!!! at least now, im learning... the things/stuffs that i just ignored and didnt gave any importance to study about ( its all about living here in japan actually )

And that's just all about it!!!! *winks*

So for those who got worried, for those who never fails to make me smile even with those simple short messages on my mailboxes,inboxes, and offline messages on my YM.... im really flattered!!! i do thank everyone a lot!!! and im so sorry that i just had to leave you all without any note or anything....

whew.... let it pass.... for the meantime, im here!!! nothing to worry about coz im doing everything that i can to survive with all of these things infront of me.. hard, but... it's not my attitude to just give up on anything life's giving me *winks*

Tuloy pa rin po ang ligaya!!!! *groupHUG!*

First Time EB.... JAPAN ( Part 3 )

7-8am ang agahan sa hotel.Binalak kong sabayan na lamang si lowell ng breakfast subalit nahuliako sa usapan. Nang makarating ako sa hotel nakatapos na raw siya ng agahan. Well sa park dapat ang punta namin that morning but the problem was, umuulan na naman. Lailangan niyan gmakabalik sa Yokohama before 1pm that day. So kung tutuusin, kung mamamasyal pa kami, mahuhuli siya sa appointment niya ta hindi na mahahabol na ang train by 10:23ata and by 10am ang check out sa hotel. Pagpasok namin sa kwarto ng hotel na tinuluyan ni lowell that night, kwentuhan sa kung anu ano ang next na magandang gawin namin, hangang sa nauwi sa.... pagpapakita ko ng mga data ng fon ko,abotu sa multiply (blog) at sa mga latest sa net world ni khaye garcia. Nang...


Kriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggg..... a call from someone na pareho naming kakilala ni lowell.Tawanan,kwentuhan hanggang sa hindi na namin namalayang mag 10 na pala so sa madali't sabi,nilisan namin ang hotel ng walang bahid ng kasarapan.. este ng kung anu pa man.


Pagbaba ng hotel, taxi o lakad? Ang sabi ng Hapon sa may front desk, 5 min walking lang daw hanggang sa may train station. We've decided to walk and it went well. Mas ok kasi mas masaya at mas marami pa kaming napagusapan. Kahit pa umaambon, di namin inalintana at lakad,tawa at kwentuhan ang ginawa namin habang naglalakad lakad sa kalye papuntang istasyon ng tren.


Eto na, I know some from his schedule while staying here in Japan. And alam ko eto na ang huling chance para makasama naminang isa't isa. Saturay ata ang alis niya at balik sa Pinas. Pagdating ng train, I shot him on my fon a photo... sumthin to keep.... ang bigat talaga sa kalooban ang pamamaalam. Pero ok lang, we promised that we'll still keep in touch.... Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaayysss..... that's it!

First time EB..... JAPAN ( Part 2 )

Alas diyes ang dating ni Lowell sa Isesaki Station from Yokohama.Nasabi ko na sa mga katrabaho ko at sa manager ko ang pagdating niya sa aming omise ng gabing iyon.Ang baet nga ng manager ko kasi siya pa ang mismong nagayos ng lugar na pagpapahingahan ni Lowell after niya akong bisitahin sa lugar ng aking pinagtratrabahuan... Kailangan man niyang makauwi ng Yokohama sana after ng trabaho ko, eh hindi pwede dahil wala ng train ng mga ganong oras. Kaya napilitan na lamang akong sabihan ang manager ko about sa problemang iyon.


Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.... Alam kong siya na ung dumating at bumubungad mula sa entrance gate ng omise. Binubulungan nga ako ng mga kasama ko kung Hapon ba o Pinoy si Lowell, kasi ba naman... sa unang tingin wag lang pagsalitain si Lowell, eh maari nga siyang mapagkamalang Hapon *winks*


Timing naman ang dating niya kasi, dumating ang ex ko that time sa trabaho ko. As usual, nakikipagbalikan... Pero nunca akong makipagbalikan dun :P sauce!


Back to the topic, dumating si lowell, kwentuhan kami agad.. ang another adventure niya sa Japan just to see me... kwentuhan kahit na ano.. from how i work, or what kinda work i have, from the people around me... my manager etc etc... 11pm na un... nirequest na nga rin namin isa ko pang kaibigan si Ate Kim para mas masaya at mas maraming mapagusapan sa table namin.Kwentuhan, Kantahan, asaran, kainan at kung anu ano pa ang ginawa namin dun...Anjan ung, pahula namin kung ilang tao na ung mga babaeng nakikita niyang kasama kong nagtratrabaho, tas... ang game!! giving rates sa mga babaeng dadaan sa harapan namin! hahahahaa.... well nakakatuwa kasi, sabi naman ni lowell, masaya daw siya *blush* kasama na ang bola na kasi daw andun ako *rolleyes* charrrruuuuussssshhhh! hahahahahah


Magkakabayan kami kami nila lowell at 2 pang babae from my work, mga ilokana... ayun! chismax si lowell with my friends... pati kay Ate cathy, si ina! ( Maritoni Fernandez look-a-like ) and lowell gave her the highest rate among the girls na nakita niya sa amin... 8.5 o diba... sosyal! hahahaha.. un nga lang.. laging palpak pag guess siya ng mga edad ng mga babae sa amin :D ahihihii.. lang tumama!!!! bwahahahaha :D well, wala akong masisisi sa kaniya kasi talagang.. ang galing ng mga babae dito sa amin... hindi talaga halata tunay na edad, sa make up na rin siguro or ewan.. basta!


Masama na pakiramdam ni Ate Kim kaya nung magpaalam siyang mauuna na siya around 2 am, pinayagan na namin kasi kawawa siya sa kaufunshou niya ( di ko alam tawag dun, sumthin allergic or me sipon whatevah! ) naiwan kami ni lowell dalawa and other guests sa work namin that time.. until 3am.. we had that group pic.... hintayin ko na lang copy from him actually *winks*


3am... dumating na ang taxi na tinawagan ng manager ko para maihatid si lowell sa nireserved na room para sa kaniya sa nearest hotel sa Isesaki Station. Gusto nga sana ng manager ko na siya na ang maghahatid kasi kelangan ng makakasama na at least nakakaintindi ng nipponggo sa hotel. Enough na naitulong ng manager ko sa amin lalo na kay lowell, isa na dun ang pagpayag niyang papasukin ang isang hindi Hapon sa aming omise, as in sabi nga nila.. bunso daw ako, malakas sa taas at well.. matigas ang ulo kaya walang magagawa manager ko kung dun ako bisitahin ng mga kakilala ko.Pagsakay sa taxi, kasama kong nagpunta sa hotel si lowell. Gawa gawa ng kung anu ano sa front desk and then napagusapang puntahan ko na lamang siya later around 730am sa hotel to have breakfast.On our way to the hotel, usap pa rin kami.. as in parang walang katapusan ang conversation namin.. nakakatuwa kasi talagang walang dull moments nung magkasama kami.Ang sarap pala talaga ng feeling , makikita mo both of ur efforts... whew! ang saya.....10am ang sakay niya ulet pabalik ng Yokohama for his meeting on 1pm there.


I left him there,pinasamahan ko na lamang ung nagbabantay sa front desk up to his room kasi naghihintay na ung taxi sa labas sa akin and that's it!i'm gonna check him later around 730am and kahit pano kung hindi uulan maya, maipasyal ko man lang siya kahit saglit at maipakita ang sakura!! i need photos over there this year!!! hahahaahhaahah... well, another successfull EB again with of course... lowell in JPN!!!promises.... never will ever be forgotten! *rolleyes*


We had to part ways that time. I can't stay inside the hotel with him kasi *rolleyes* well.... baka hindi ako makapagpigil at ma-rape ko siya eh :D hahahaahha... jKe!



........... laterz again folks! :P

First time EB! JAPAN

Gabi non,ika-walo ng buwang Abril... hindi ko inaasahan ang tawag galing sa di kilalang numero sa aking telepono.. ah! isang kaibigan mula sa ibang bansa.Nasa Yokohama na raw siya at nakastay sa isang hotel doon.Matagal tagal ko na ring kakilala ang taong ito, mula sa aming mga palitang disksyunan sa isang site sa internet.Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip ng hingan ako ng kahit man lang lunch or dinner man lang daw sana habang andirito siya sa Japan.Pagbaba ng telepono, hindi na ako mapakali at nagtanung tanong na ako sa aking mga kasamahan sa aking trabaho,pati na ang aking manager ginulo ko na sa pagtanong kung pano ba makakarating ang isang panauhin mula sa Yokohama papunta dito sa aming lugar.Mga apat na sakay siguro ng tren ang kelangan bago makarating dito ang kelangang gawin ng kaibigan kong ito.Di ko maipaliwanang ang nararamdaman ko ng panahong iyon.Masaya,excited,flattered..biruin mo,dadayuhin ako ng isang kaibigan mula sa malayong lugar para lang makita at makasama ako.whew!Kinabukasan,ala una ng tanghali ang dating niya sa istasyon ng tren sa aming lugar.Na-late pa nga ako sa usapan dahil na rin sa paghihintay ko ng taxi,nako naman... sa loob ng maga-apat na taon ko sa Japan,hindi ako sumasakay ng taxi!hahahaha... adventure!Nasa loob ako ng taxi ng tawagan ko pa ang isa sa malapit kong kaibigan mula sa Pilipinas,sinabi ko kung san at kung sino ang kakatagpuin ko ng mga oras na iyon, kung gaano ako kabado sapagkat ni anino ng taong iyon eh hindi ko pa nakikita.Pagbaba sa train station, ang sabi ng kikitain ko, naroon daw lamang siya... sa labas lang ako, habang kausap sa kabilang linya si "mine",kinakabahan ako dahil mula sa akong kinatatayuan, may isang lalaki na grabe kung makasipat sa akin, sabi ko nga kay mine, kung yun ang guy na kikitain ko, malamang sasakay na ako ng taxi at uuwi pabalik! hahaaha.. well, sa paghihintay, mula sa loob ng istasyon ng tren, may isang lalaki na dumungaw at biglang ngumiti at biglang kumaway sa akin... ako lang ang naroroon sa pwestong yon kaya im pretty sure ito na ang taong kakatagpuin ko. whew! buti na lang hindi ung lalaking nakatayo sa di kalayuan na kanina pa tingin ng tingin sa akin na akala mo eh kakainin ako ng buo... hahaha... Nagpaalam na ako kay mine ng masigurado kong eto na nga sa harapan ko si lowell.

Hi, hello.. beso beso. kwentuhan saglit.Umuualan at wala akong ideya kung ano ba talaga ang maganda naming gawin dito sa aming lugar, nahihiya ako kay lowell kasi dinayo pa talaga ako sa napakaliblib na lugar ng bansang Japan kahit na umuulan para lang makita ako. Sice pareho kaming hindi pa kumakain, napagpasyahan naming mas mabuti pang kumain na muna at dun na mapahusapan kung anuman ang pwedeng gawin.

Taxi!sa sasakyan, tawa kami ng tawa ni lowell, sabi nga... josko! first time kong sumakay ng taxi alone ng taxi, first time kong gumala mula sa akong apartment ng magisa para lang gumala with a first time met guy. hahahahah! Masayang kasama si lowell, puno ng kwento... para ngang ang tagal na naming magkakilala nung magkita kami.Sa lahat ng mga kakilala namin from the same site we were in, wala pang nakipag meet sa akin one on one at siya lang... talaga naman! ang effort! *winks*

Mother's Cafe! isang restaurant na malapit sa pinagtratrabahuhan ko siya dinlaa to have our late lunch, i think.. alas dos na un ng tanghali... kwento kwento kwento... picture picture! hahaha... we had our great time! masaya na ewan...

3:30pm ng nagpatawag na kami ulit ng taxi... nung una nga dapat magpupunta kami sa park para an lang maipakita ko sa kaniya ang sakura, ang problema, malamig at umuulan pa! awWw!eh pano yan?! nakakahiya naman dahil hindi ko alam kung san ko pwedeng ipasyal or ilibot ang kaibigan ko sa aking lugar, well, ive told him naman na hindi talaga ako lumalabas, kung lumalabas man ako, kasama ko mga kaibigan ko.. sauna,ofuro,shopping,salon! ayun! hahahaha.... samahan na lang daw niya akong magpagupit since i was scheduled to cut my hair that day... nyek! ano ba naman yan! hahahah....Game arcade?! Pachinco?! whew! ang ending namin, isang karaoke bar na malapit mula sa aking munting tahanan... Nagka-card tuloy ako don! hahahaa... siguro mga 3 oras rina ng tinagal namin sa lugar na iyon dahil ang sunod niyang sasakyan pagbalik sa Yokohama ay alas siete ng gabi... kanta dito kanta jan, kwento... tawanan, kain, lamon... at TOMA!!! hahahaha.... Matagal tagal na rin akong hindi umiinom ng alak ha! para tuloy akong uhaw to the max ng makakita ako ng alak sa menu ng karaoke bar! hahahaha...

Hindi naman ganon ka-dull ang pagtatagpo namin ni lowell... madada rin kasi siya at gaya ng sabi niya, napakanatural ko raw as in, at home na at home kahit san kami magpunta! hahaha... nakakatindig balahibo daw ako kung kumanta! nakow! hahahah... ang duga nga kasi, andami kong kinanta sa karaoke samantalaga siya.. huhuhuhu! well, masaya naman... halo halong storya ang napagusapan namin. Ang saya! well...

Kriiiiiiing..... alas siete na! uwian na... im worried kasi hindi ko alam kung nasiyahan ba siya sa pagpunta niya sa aming lugar or what, he told me na ok naman daw! pero hindi pa rin maiaalis ang pagka uneasy ko sa bagay na iyon kasi nga, ewan! hahahaha... inihatid ko siya mula sa train station, babalik raw siya tonight, he wanted to see me sing on-stage!whew! another kakabakaba itech! hahahaa... that's it! the journey.. eciting... adventure and quite funny day for both me and lowell!pareho kaming mga parang walang kaluluwang gala ng gala dito sa Isesaki! mga wala pang tulog! hahahaha....

A morning call, katatawag lang niya ulet kani kanina confirming me about my working place's address... well, let's see what will gonna happen next tonight folks!!! see yah laterz! wahoOoOo!

honey

ihave my own reasons why it took me this long to visit this blog of mine here..


one, ive been really busy... with my work, with my life and of course, cyber-life


second, lack of time!


even if im online, i have lots of things to do


like, updating accounts, posting,talking to everyone else on my contacts or simply just lurking on sites


but well, today...


i felt that ive gotta post sumthin in here


ive felt that i needed to burst sumthing within me


that i dont have to talk about it


person to person





im gonna copy some on my latest posts from one of my blogs online on my next post


for i have sumthin in my head right now


that i wanna share


in here





hmMm...





few hours ago, i called my mom in the Philippines...


well, i rarely call them


the pattern's always like this


they're the ones who rings my phone then ill give them a call...


but this time, its me who called them


wHy?!


hmMm...


my mom and talked last month


telling me that my sister (ate) who's working in Singapore


is coming this April 1st and gonna be staying in the Philippines for just a week


i even considered to come over and talk with my ate since we havent see each other for what, 3 years already...


ive been waiting from anyone from my family to call me since April 1st...


nothing!


no misscalls


no messages


i even got angry


for what the heck are they doing there


and they're not even bother to call me


i got pissed off


and losen my patience


waiting


so i called my mom


hmMm


that's 11 in the evening last night


im not sure if they're already sleeping or what


but i really tried dialing my mom's phone number


and whoah!


my mom answered it and we talked


blah blah blah


unfortunately


my ate's not around that time


she went with her friends in a karaoke bar (daw)


so i told my mom that im gonna call them first thing this morning


and what excites me most


was when she told me that they've already posted few photos of them on her friendster site


i took a rush on work and hurriedly came back home to get online and see what she's talking about


kaboom!


i saw their photos...


my feelings got crushed when i saw them...


how i wish i was with them too..


taking photos


laugh together


share stories together


hug and kisses them all


whew!

well, that's it for now... its just that.. maybe im feeling lonely tonight...more because ive seen my family thou on photos only... im thinking when are we gonna be whole together again?! i can go to Singapore to visit my ate, but we're not whole with our family.. i can go to Philippines, but my ate's not around... oh well... this is life!

good day all!

Monday

sSshHh... i have mha own problems in my real life but hey! quite funny coz when i get online, on this forum, while backreading on their topics and posts... hahahaa.. really made big laughs on me... hahaha... if im correct, this is the one that ive been posting before here on mha blog... know what... i didnt and dont do actions actually when i get haterz even before.... why? hahaha.. for what reason ayt! hahaha.. but this time, they're quite funny and interesting... hahaha... with their own started works, sila ngaun ang napi-pissed off! hahahaha.. funny aight?!blaming me that ive been been asking for help to everyone with what they're doing with me and "harapin" ko daw sila... hahahha.. lagapak tawa ko when i read that stupid post... hahahaha... ONE... hindi ko ugali ang magsumbong.. TWO... i dont have to kasi they're too obvious, hindi tanga ang mga taong nakakabsa at nakakamasid sa mga actions nila... no need for me to make sumbong or what... THREE... honestly.. im not good on written anger or fight... basagulera ako since 5 years old as i remember... u wont hear my words coz before that ramdam mo na init ng kamao ko sa mukha mo.. thats me...FOUR...i didnt and dont pay attention sa mga taong mas mababa level sa akin... as my beliefs says, i have my own life and why mind others'....i just stayed calm and iggy them.. but hey! hahahaha... sila sila rin ngaun ang naiinis?! bwahahhahaa.... its good that i have this blog of mine kasi dito lang ako naglalabas ng real feelings ko.. why?! obviously because, i aint go online to look for fights or what...im here coz im bored and i wanna enjoy my life, meeting and mingling with my friends, un lang.. and no other irrelevant reasons...what a funny start of the week thou :D



hmMMm... facing my real life.. hmMm... i still have no idea about what will i do or how to face my problems as of now... im confident that i know somehow i can solve and cope up with this yet i cant find any answers on how to deal with it...i think i still need to think all over and over again...



*puff*

link..

it sounds funny but im kinda feeling down as in ngaun as in NOW... then i was just browsing the net then my eyes captivates me with this video.. actually.. this was already what.. a year ago.. and... it made me smile :) thanks for coldspell for making this .. nakita ko na naman siya after so many months... missin you all guys there! YP


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcoqPEqMfM8

Me... at this moment

My life in a poem
a few pages is not enough
life seemed so happy
when really its been so rough
no one knows the truth
no one knows the lies
no one knows what goes on
no one can here the cries
coz the truth they cant handle
the lies they are soon to believe
something so convincing
something so easy to deceive
life is hard for all
all around people feel pain
sometimes for a moment
sometimes on and off like this rain
some people find it easy to talk
some people find it easy to let go
those girls so damn happy
I may look it although
sometimes life gets you down
sometimes life pushes you around
pulls you right back to the ground
pulls you to the corner without a sound
and that loneliness comes back
when your in a crowded room
and the fake you returns
all too soon
everyone falls in love
with what you are on the outside
when youre not really that person
but its too hard to come out of your hide
so you stay inside
till its too late to come back
the fake has consumed you
life has gone off track
coz soon before you know it
you dont know who you are
when really its all to simple
it all seems so farto pull yourself back out
to let that friend see your tears
let them know the real you
fill them in on your deepest fears
tell them of your past
tell them of that man
the one that created your sadness
the day it all began
tell them of that one night
where you thought you were to die
tell them of that one week
where you wished that he had tried
tell them of that one story
the one that haunts your dreams
the one that is so real
but in your head so it seems
tell them of that person
who believed everything he said
tell them of that on line
my god I wished you were dead
tell that special person
how it felt to feel scared
how it felt to be alone
watch the yelling if you dared
tell them how it feels
to be the only one that knows
how he really treats you
when the door is pulled closed
tell them what he did
what marks he left
on the inside on the outside
and the secrets you kept
tell them about that one guy
who was meant to keep you safe
the one that left you alone
when your heart began to race
the one that was meant to be there
to hear the tears fall
the one that was supposed to catch them
the one who would be there when you call
tell them where he went
tell them how you felt
tell them how the anger built up
and the anger that you dealt
tell that person how she went back
tell them what he did then
tell them how every feeling you have felt
has been written down in pen
tell them why you cant
talk about the truth
tell them why its hard
when you always feel so used
tell them why you laugh
when really you want to cry
tell them why you smile
when it feels like your about to die
tell them how bad it feels
when you see them holding hands
when you see the only person
that is keeping the pain still standing
tell them how it feels
knowing your pillow is the best friend
the one who knows all this stuff
knows how it feels to be at your end
tell them how every night
before you close your eyes
tell them how the pain leaks down
when the music dies
tell them about this
and maybe youll be fine
maybe something will change
maybe you just need time
maybe this s nothing
maybe e its just a phase
maybe it will all be over
in a matter of days
maybe if this poem is read
by someone that cares
maybe they can fix you
maybe theyll be there
maybe they might catch that tear
maybe that pillow will dry out
maybe it will be better
if that person finally finds out
or maybe it wont
and theyll just pretend they saw nothing
and keep moving forward
the fake you they start trusting
maybe if I keep standing still
and watch the world pass my by
maybe then I wont feel pain
maybe then I wont cry
but all I can do is hope
that its all in my fate
that one day it will change
before its too late..

Sometimes it's just so sad you can't talk about it! :(

Look close inside yourself,

Look in your soul,

Your heart,

What does it tell you?

Mine tells me that I love you, that looks don't matter.

I may not be beautiful or pretty on the outside,

But look closer,

Look at me,

Look at me for who I am,

Ugly on the outside,

Gorgeous on the inside,

You say you want someone to love you for who your are.

Stop!

Look at me,

Look at me for you will see,

I'm the one your heart wants, but not the one your mind wants.

Look at me,

Look at me now and hold me tight,

Because I dont know how long I can wait for you to finally realize that we're meant to be.

Just....Just look at me for who I am.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that it is hard

to start a new life

a lost love cuts deep

cuts deep like a sharp knife

everything was perfect

i thought it was

why did it end

end like everything does

the harder it hurts

the more you feel

this time you know

it is for real

changes are made

life is rough

why does it have to be

so very tough

will things get worse

or will they get better

dont let me live this life forever

take me away

somewhere very far

let my new life

heal my old scar

*smiles*

hmMm... for this day?! whew... sobrang bilis natapos ng isang araw ko ngaun *rolleyes* wondrin why huh ;)) hehehe..well, same as usual.. talked with my friends... and hahaha... ive heard more interesting topics that enlightened me today... hmMm. whatelse.. oh! mha long time long lost mico came back.. hahhaaa.. still the naughty one...walang pinagbagpo siya pa rin ung dating super khulet super katok and super grRrrr :D hahahaa... whatelse.... sa work?! grabe! andaming tao!!! i was too busy and i dont even have voice anymore right now coz i think as i remember i sung almost more than 20 songs this night! whew... hahahaa...


hmMm... ngaun ko lang napansin.. ahihihii, kaya ko pala talagang iwasan si C and K... well, i know this is for the good of everybody... people cant blame with my decisions kasi im happy right now.. i just wish na sila rin... ihave my won reasons why ive decided to quit on everything.. one, for C, kasi hindi siya ung naisip kong siya.. thou i still wanna give him a chance to see me ok... then next with K... hmMm.. well, mejo malalim...im controlling myself not to do anything about this anymore coz i know this wont last... hindi sa ayoko or what.. i just know myself... as of now maybe i have feelings for him but that feeling isnt strong enough for me to fight and stand in the near future...i just know myself kaya habang maaga pa.. :( i miss him, yes.. but that doesnt mea kakainin ko cnabi ko :)



whatelse... oh! to them... wehehehe.. makin mha day complete really! hahahhaa... i know about ur "secret" thread :P bwahahhaa.... sad to say.. "dont do to others what you dont want others do unto you.... " personally that doesnt implies on me pero gusto ko lang sabihin yan sa kanila.. hahahaa... bad honey bad honey! hahaha...i know what you're doing thou... kahit na hindi ko basahin and pansinin ang lahat.. too obvious.. di kapatol patol mga ginagawa ninyo... hahahaa.... natatawa lang ako honestly... para kaung mga batang nawalang ng candy and gustong bawiin, the problem is... ubos na ung candy.. kaya ayun... ngangawa ngawa... galaw ng galaw di mapakali... trying to get everyone's attention and have their candy back again to them.... hahahaha.... high school.... lolz



oH!!! thanks nga pala to that "lyndon" who commented on my post b4.. actually, my first commentor :)) hahaha. thanks and keep on enjoying reading mha life! mwaahh...


ROCK ON GUYS!!! w\O/w

to that bitch!

mhicx.....naalala na naman kita.. and ... know what?! we're just laughing at you... masyado mong pinabababa sarili mo.. and with your attitude, dont you know na walang me gusto sau? as in for real! duh! hahahaha... men just wanna f*ck you and face the reality.... and i hate to say this but... bwahahahahha!!! hindi kita ka-level! and if gusto mo man.. sorry.. we're not even close... look at yourself... physically emotionally mentally.. do u think u deserve to be loved seriously? hahahaha.. you must be joking!



look what's happening with you.... gimmicks? yeah right.... u get f*cked and that all matters with you aight?! hahahaa.. i knew bitches like you and to tell you frankly... the first time i saw ur post... alam ko na amoy mo! you cant deny the fact na umaalingasaw ka :) you cant deny that with your clothes nor make ups.. sad to say ....

still....

ill re-edit this as soon as i get other photos during my stay in Philippines last year.... shayang talaga.. hik!









me and mha loving mareng Kat!! misshuu na mare.... Trinoma Phils Oct 12,2007








me and my friend.. a stolen shot last Oct 14,2007... ang galeng pumose ng foka... hahahaa.... lil bro! ninakaw ko na shot naten! hahahaha

Photos and images by my friends

stolen shots of Mark...


The Fort, Giliggans Market Market Makati Phils. Oct 13,2007

well, as of few people knows that i went to the Philippines last year for 6 days... these were some of the shots that i actually "grab" from my friend's site since i dont have a copy of it... hahaha...

MTC Oct 10-12 Makati,Phils 2007

im asking for those who have photos of mine to please send me your copies.. message me on my online accounts... YO!thanks...

this day...

first, i dont know why but im kinda feeling pity... dont know if i pity myself or pity those people surrounds me... on the otherhand! im kinda happy and enlightened by some people who really has concern and loves me... i really feel that thou there's this certain even on our lives na kung pupuwede lang manapak na lang ng tao para manahimik na ang lahat... still, lumalabas ang mga taong talagang nanjan to calm u down and make u smile... whew!



know the feeling that u wanna do something but you cant.. or you shouldnt be... ang hirap ng nagtitikis ng feelings and words na gustung gusto mo ng ilabas but hindi dapat... where? hmMm... to lots of people... to him, to those fellas on this certain forum...arghh...



to him... u know i love you... oh! mali.. hindi mo pala alam yun... coz if u do... you wont bother asking me questions na parang gusto mong palabasin that you dont trust me andyou dont believe me... one trait that i hate most.... erRrr... and oh! i miss you... and thats true.. but... :)


to those few persons that wala ng magawa sa buhay nila.... bwahahahhaa!! you're just making people laugh most especially me.. thru your actions and gestures masyado ninyong pinahahalata laman ng utak niyo... hahaha! hangin!somebody even told this.. "envy is a sin" hahahaha.... and obviously naghahanap kayo ng kakampi and ang point dun... hahahaa, puros mga newbies nahuhugot niyo coz madali silang mabola... you just cant admit that people who really sees reality eh hindi niyo masama sa kaimmature-an niyo coz sino mapapahiya?! hahahaa.... you know yourselves.. and i pity you all...and oh.. sorry if hindi ko pinapansin mga posts niyo.. know what?! hindi ako nagiinternet at nagfoforumus adiktus just to pay my precious attention on ur works.. hahaha.... advice.. look infront of the mirror before u post somethin on net... baka magkaidea pa kau ng may "essence" hahahaha



oh.. to my friends online.. lalo na sa mga taong still knows "khaye garcia" thanks for everything, the images... stolen shots while im still in the Philippines kahit na mukha na akong ogag and anga... hahaha... thats the real me and whoah! accept that peepz!

3 months before my bday ;)

well, what can i say about this day or past things that happenned a week or more on me... hmMm..let's see... 2 days ago,i thought we' re gonna be fine with this special guy of mine...he's soOo sweet,he's a hunk,jolly,straight forward and oh...i felt that he really just cares about me.. unfortunately... maybe i just have to end it right now coz i dont wanna continue a relationship where "trust" isnt existing...ayoko yung every minute na lang parang it seems like all i have to do is explain to him everything na nauubos oras namin sa ganon...as this moment im already missing him but there's some part in my mind that tells me that if ever im gonna fight for this feelings for him, ganon rin... lagi rin lang kaming magdidiskusyon, magpapaliwanagan, pabalik balik sa mga issues etc... so habang maaga pa, id rather stop this... maybe we just dont deserve each other... or we just dont know each other that well kasi nga hindi pa naman kami ganoon katagal magkakilala... still.... im missing him



another thing about this past few days/weeks i guess...upon browsing some of my accounts online,there's this site that.. hmMm.. kinda stinks... oh! did i just tell "stinks" hahaha.. well its just like this... of all sites that ive been active or visible... nakakatuwa itong site na 'to pwamis!hahaha.. ive met some of the members on this site last year actually... and i told them or should i say that they knew that of all the people on net that ive met in person last Oct... they're the ones that i felt true.. hindi plastik and i really had fun kahit pa sabihin nating hindi ganon katagal ang EB that time.. but this time, lately... on some posts of other members on that board, thou hindi directly na tinutukoy ung blind item nila obviously naninira sila patalikod... mga tao nga naman.... haaaayyzz... people who doesnt even know what real things are and things that real and actually happenned eh just jumps into conclusion and making intrigue about that... well, feeling sikat naman ako at pinaguusapan na pala ako behind my back knowing the fact that im being true to them...worse,mali pa sila ng speculations lmao.... hahahhaa... well, i dont have to say anything about it kasi sila lang naman nagiisip and nagpaparinig rinig ng mga ganon eh.. hahaha... if they're happy to do those kiddie stuffs, fine! dun sila.. basta ako... di ko ugali manira ng tao.. for what? fame? duh! hahaha..attention? hahaha... di naman nakakaalis or nakakabawas ng boredom ang chismis :)) hahahaha.... if someone has a problem with me, they can come upfront me hindi ung pakitang tao sila sa harap ko then pagtalikod ko pala eh kung anu ano na ginagawa at pinagsasabi.. cowardness isnt lovable!

i wanna take this opportunity to thank those people who really and still stands for me...people who really trusts and believes in me.. people who really cares and loves me... for them that always there for mw no matter what and still says, everythings gonna be ok... thanks sa inyo!

It's Thursday!

couldnt imagine how happy and a bit upset today....know why?! hmMm... lemme start this... i have this guy... we've met well more than half a year already...we're not dating or what but simply just "friends"... we've been sharing lots of each other for past months and we know that we have this "thing" for both of us... we're not denying that... the problem is.... we coudn't say directly how we really for each other... example, the "love" most normally we say towards someone we really care about... sometimes i have this feelings that he aint serious at all... or he's just shy or afraid or i dont know coz i cant hear him say that he love me... we always there for each other... shares lots of our thoughts... sometimes,mha moodness enters but he still there and guide me and gives me caring advices etc... but still....i just dont understand why some guys were like that... is he really that gentleman?does he really cares for me? or... do we really have this special feelings towards each other.. i keep on telling people that i have no intimate partner as of now coz i cant say that im already committed with him thou my hearts keeps on beating while he's around coz i cant get an assurance from him.. erRr.. i hate this! im picking my own answers to my own questions coz he aint talking at all about his feelings for me... well, we've just talked a while ago... and still the answers left unspoken... i got irritated and again asked him about what our real score is... know what he told me?! erRr

"know what hon,even if you wont hear me say " I Love You! " to you.. that doesnt mean you're not special for me...in fact i am and i care for you so much... i dont want you to get hurt... im just being carefull...madali lang sabihin ang " I Love You Hon " pero ayokong sabihin lang yun sau.. i wanna prove it... " ~ Kaye Tanedo

thats why im not sure if that means we're fine or kami na.... ang hirap... feeling ko nagaassume lang ako... feeling ko hindi lang talaga niya ako gusto.... feeling ko......

ah ewan! kakalito mga lalaki!

i even told him that im upset and dissappointed sa mga narinig ko from him... that i dont know if im happy or not coz of that...then he thought of what ive said... im gonna lie low of him,set him already aside... erRr! i dont know what to say and do or what... im troubled... but afterwards... i still have goosebumps while we're talking ::) hahaha... ang gulo noh!

whatta'day!!!

.... ganda ng araw ko!!! yahoO!!!!

first... ive talked with two of the people closest to my heart last night and today...

second.... walang makuletz

third....ive got my mom's xmas card for me

and lastly.... im happy lang talaga kasi matutulog na ako ulet.... getting ready for another working day mamya... haaaaayyzz....





laterzzz blogmwah :*